Now is Wow

MY BLOG HAS MOVED

2008-05-02T10:00:00.001-05:00

You can find me blogging daily at this link now.
http://nowiswowtoo.blogspot.com

See you there.

Tide in, Tide out

2008-04-25T11:05:00.000-05:00

The sea comes in and goes out again.
*

Dear All,

Since January 8, 2005 when I started this blog, I have enjoyed the daily process. As my 'Creative Portal', it served as a space within which I was easily able to express and project elements of myself and my work - albeit drops in the ocean of 'me'.

Over this time I connected with many great people who entered the Now is Wow 'Portal'. Some came and went, some came and stayed. Some I never met in person, some I did - forming special connections.

Today's post will be Now is Wow's last post. I was sitting here wondering what to say about that ... wondering how to close this blog off without sounding too abrupt, too long winded or too whatever-else-would-not-say-it-adequately. In life's typical way, a few minutes ago, a symbol came along to assist me and to affirm everything. I had paused on my 'wondering what to say and how to say it' and went upstairs to get some water. There was a green bird (green tanager I think it's called) - one of my favourite birds - trapped in the kitchen, pressed against the closed window. (Thankfully Jasper wasn't about!) I went to it and, although it agitated a bit as I got closer, it did not seem terrified, as many birds usually are when this happens. I opened the window, said "There you go" and she flew away over the grass.

That story says it all.

I will leave Now is Wow up as an archive. Anyone coming to it will see this page and will be able to explore all that has gone before via the links in the sidebar. Those interested in following up on certain projects which are to be completed can read more about that here.

I thank all of you who, in a variety of ways, were a part of this online journey/experience. I wish each of you the best in your lives and in every endeavour. While this blog may be 'no more', one Truth remains eternally unchanged for every one of us: Now will always be Wow.

Love, Elspeth

For those who wish to follow up

2008-04-25T09:57:00.000-05:00

Over time I have shared many of my creative projects on this blog. Often, I take you through aspects of the process - from inception to completion. The two projects listed below are still 'open' (i.e. in motion, in the works). Please see below if you are a regular reader of Now is Wow and are interested in following up on their progress and eventual outcome (beyond the blog).

Veronica's House
Habitat for Humanity has partnered with us to ensure that the house for Veronica and her children is built. Once the necessary 'red tape' is cleared (e.g. Town and Country Planning), work will officially begin. All things running smoothly, the house will be finished within 2008. Those who wish to be involved in the construction as volunteers can contact me at nowiswowisnow [at] yahoo [dot] com for further information. Or you can contact Habitat directly (see their website for contact info) and indicate your interest in being a volunteer for Veronica's House and/or other Habitat projects. You do not have to have prior construction experience. Volunteers will be needed for all kinds of tasks, from making phone calls to painting walls to more 'concrete' jobs, literally.

Within the next few weeks, the designer of the Veronica's House website will update it to reflect the recent changes (as a result of Habitat coming on board as a partner).

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Source of photo

The Tree of Dreams
The Tree Planting Ceremony will take place as announced on Saturday 3rd May, 2008. Thus far 20 of us have confirmed our attendance and, on that day, will be making the hike up the mountain to plant the dreams which various people placed into the Dream House. I have chosen the Flamboyant as our Tree of Dreams. When the flamboyants are in bloom on the mountains, their vibrant orange presence cannot be ignored. They are visible from far and wide, like fires (i.e. fires of flowers, not flames) on the mountain range. One day our Tree will be one of those striking orange beauties, standing testament to the blooming of our Dreams.

Now

2008-04-24T10:40:00.000-05:00

Tutorial: How to leave comments

2008-04-23T11:08:00.000-05:00

The Dream Tree will be one of these - only bigger (a sapling)

I just got off the phone with a friend who told me he wanted to leave a comment on The Dream Tree post but did not want to sign up for a Google account. He is not the first person who has told me they want to leave a comment but, for reasons like that or just not understanding how to, they did not.

Lately I've encountered quite a few people saying this, so I'll explain. It's very simple.
1. Click on the 'Comments' link at the bottom of the post
2. A blank box will appear saying 'Leave your comment'
3. Once you have written your comment, type the letters you see below (e.g. qwszzd) into the blank space for 'Word Verification'. (This is to confirm that you are human)
4. Choose an identity. Here is where people get confused. In order to leave your comment you must click on one option.

(i) If you click on 'Anonymous', your comment will appear as being from Anonymous. (But sometimes people click on Anonymous and still sign their name at the end of the comment they wrote in the comment box.

(ii) If you already have a Google/Blogger account you use that option (e.g. I use that option)

(iii) Name/URL is for people who do not want to be anonymous. These people may or may not have a blog or website (URL). If they do have a web presence and they put the URL, their name will appear as a link to that site. If they just put their name only, it will not appear as a link.

(iv) Open ID is for Live Journal, etc. (as displayed in the drop down menu next to that option). So unless you are one of those, you don't have to worry about it.

Most people therefore will choose the Name/URL option.

A vast offering

2008-04-22T07:46:00.000-05:00

Near where the river meets the sea between Manzanilla and Mayaro, there is a long stretch of what (from a distance) looks like pinkish white sand (as opposed to the rest of it which is brown). Drawing closer, you will see that it's not sand, but millions of mainly whitish and pinkish shells, glistening in the sun like a fresh carpet of snow.

My tropical 'snow' angel

I wave, you wave, sea waves.

Whenever I go to that spot and see the shell carpet, I wonder what makes the sea choose that particular stretch of sand to make its deposit? Water currents? Energy currents? And where do so many shells come from all at once? It's like a never ending supply. A vast offering.

Acknowledging Earth Day

Invitation: Planting the Tree of Dreams

2008-04-21T07:01:00.001-05:00

Two lumps of raw clay purchased to make the vessel.

This is what will happen to the dreams we placed in the Dream House:

1. THE HIKE TO THE SACRED SPOT
The tree planting ceremony will take place on a friend's estate in Santa Cruz on Saturday 3rd May 2008 from 2:30 p.m. (Note this in your dairies). To get to the spot where we will plant our dreams/the Dream Tree, we will hike uphill for about 30 - 45 minutes. (Bring water to drink)

2. THE CLAY VESSEL
Once we reach to the mountain top, we will sit in a circle and pass around a large lump of raw clay. Each person will contribute to the gradual creation of a deep, open-top bowl. It doesn't have to be 'perfect'. It may end up being lumpy and misshapen, but the important thing is that this vessel will contain the positive communal energies of all who created it. Once finished, our dreams will be put into the vessel, which will be placed in the earth, open top up. This vessel will hold our dreams. (Those who wear lots of rings, your hands will get caked in clay, so it will be better to come with bare fingers).

3. THE TREE OF DREAMS
Earth will be covered over the hole/vessel/dreams. In that exact spot we will then plant the tree (type of tree to be announced closer to date). The moist, unbaked clay of the vessel will be one with the earth. As the tree grows, its roots will stretch down through the open top of the clay vessel, toward the dreams, absorbing them and transporting their energies from the earth (a nurturing womb) to the sky (limitless potential).

******

THE INVITATION
DATE: Saturday 3 May, 2008
TIME: 1:30 p.m. sharp (please, not Trini time). Meet at collective point: outside Undercover Plant Shop, Santa Cruz.
VENUE: Follow me from Undercover to the estate where we will be planting the Dream Tree. (About 10 mins drive away). To make it easier (less cars), car pooling for people coming from the same area can be arranged.
WHAT TO BRING: Hiking shoes, knapsack with drinking water/snacks, etc., a raincoat and change of clothing (just in case it rains).

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IMPORTANT: I need to know the amount of people attending. Those who plan on coming, please e-mail me at nowiswowisnow [at] yahoo [dot] com by Sunday 27 April for the latest with the following information:
Name, contact information, headcount (you may want to bring a friend) and where you're coming from.

Full moon heart

2008-04-20T08:44:00.001-05:00

Last night I went to a barbeque on top of a mountain on a friend's estate in Santa Cruz. It was a medium sized gathering. We had an adventurous roller coaster ride up the mountain in various four wheel drives, along steep and bumpy, freshly excavated dirt roads. The view from up there was great - stars above and, in the distance, myriad dots of lights along the crest of ridges and in the valley. And of course the moon, which was full, bright and huge. Being so high up, it looked and felt extremely close - as though if we climbed to the top of one of the trees, we would be able to touch it. I pointed my camera at the moon and swirled it around in a heart shape motion, on a slow shutter speed. The above photo is my attempt.

This location, but a bit higher up the mountain, is where the long awaited ceremony for the dreams that were in the Dream House will take place.

Invitation to come this week.

Two pennies

2008-04-18T07:44:00.000-05:00

When you have only two pennies left in the world,
buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other
*
- Chinese Proverb -

Les examens

2008-04-17T05:37:00.000-05:00

Yesterday evening we had our final French exams. I spent a few hours of the morning revising under the sapodilla tree at the bottom of the garden.Le sapodilla: mon arbre favori dans le jardin
The sapodilla: my favourite tree in the garden.

Pippa essaye d'étudier avec moi.
Pippa tries to study with me."Je ne comprends pas ..."
"I don't understand ..."

Musical sketch

2008-04-16T07:45:00.001-05:00

The window reflected in the keys of my keyboard.

My keyboard is in front of a window. Sometimes while playing or listening back, I look out and up. The sky becomes a screen and the music becomes the soundtrack for whatever is happening. I often create quick musical 'sketches' ... using musical notes rather than a pencil to sketch what I see or feel as I gaze out/in.

What scene unfolds through your window when you listen to this sketch?

Pause

2008-04-11T03:04:00.002-05:00

...

Fearless

2008-04-10T17:06:00.000-05:00

Fear less and you will be more.

Sunday Scribblings

Taken care of

2008-04-10T07:32:00.001-05:00

This morning my heart crumbled when I got an e-mail from Detta (who is abroad) explaining what to feed Sapodilla Dawn and who to call to get specially reared meal worms for baby birds. (This was in response to an e-mail I'd sent her with the Sapo-D. story). Suddenly yesterday's answers were no longer satisfying and the nagging "I should have kept her" voice resurfaced.

As much as I dreaded going for a walk and passing by the tree where I had left her, I decided to do it.

On my way, I noticed a startling amount of keskidees. They were everywhere: looking down from the wires above me, walking bravely across my path, sitting in trees calling out. Were there really more or was I just noticing them more because of the Sapo-D association?

As I approached the tree, my eyes flew to the spot where I'd placed Sapo-D. It was empty. I looked around. No sign of l'oisillon (fledgling in French). No sign of what I had been dreading (a small, half-eaten carcass swarming with ants). I looked up to the nest and saw a Keskidee sitting directly above me. The mother? She stayed a long while and, despite my presence and proximity, did not fly away.

Perhaps the gardener had put Sapo-D back into the nest as promised. And, if not, maybe someone had passed by, seen her and picked her up. "A UWI zoology student," I thought ... who knew, more than I would have, exactly what to feed her.

Little bird, big teacher. The whole experience made me think about the art of 'letting go'. Sometimes we are afraid to let go of what we 'know' because we don't know what is in the 'emptiness' beyond it. Sometimes we may not be sure that we are doing the right thing by releasing that to which we are 'attached'. I think Sapo-D came along to show that it's okay to let go and trust. When we do, everything is taken care of.

Guilty questions and satisfying answers

2008-04-09T14:04:00.000-05:00

Why did I take Sapodilla Dawn back to that spot on campus where I'd found her? Why didn't I keep her and look up 'what to feed a baby bird' on the internet?

Guilty questions of this nature plagued me as I drove back home from POS today, somehow noticing more Keskidees than usual along my route.

So ... I just looked up 'what to feed a baby bird' (for future reference) and came across the below extract. It makes me feel better about the decision I made in the end.

If the bird is uninjured you should ask yourself, "Is it really an orphan?" Nine times out of ten the answer is no! Look for nests in nearby trees and shrubs. They are usually well hidden and hard to get to. If you can find the nest, simply put the bird back in it. It's a myth that the parents will not care for young birds that have been touched by humans. In fact, birds have a poor sense of smell. Great horned owls kill and eat skunks without even noticing their overpowering stench.

If you can't find the nest, put the baby bird in a shrub or tree - somewhere up off the ground. You can even provide a substitute nest by tying a berry basket (with drainage) up in a tree. Most often this is all the help a baby bird needs. As soon as you leave, the parents, who were probably watching you the whole time, will return and continue to feed the fledgling. If you want to be sure the parents are still around, observe the baby bird from a distance, preferably with binoculars. If the parents don't return to an undisturbed nestling in two hours, something may be wrong. The parents may have been killed by predators or hit by a car. Don't worry if you only see one parent. A single parent can raise the young alone.

This site (where the above extract is from) has info on what and how to feed baby birds.

Also check this site. Both sites deal with foreign birds (robins, etc) ... but the info will work just as well for tropical birds.

Sapodilla Dawn

2008-04-09T09:07:00.000-05:00

Sapodilla Dawn
*

This morning while walking with a friend, Mitra, on campus, we came upon a baby keskidee on the grass, near a tree. It had fallen from its nest. Nearby, a man was cutting grass with a noisy weed-wacker. No doubt terrifying for a bewildered baby animal. Had it not been for that, I may have left it for the parents to find her and feed her ... but instead, I scooped her up and we turned to walk back home. We named her Dawn, since she had been found at daybreak.

When I got to my street, I saw a bird eating one of my neighbour's sapodillas ... which was interesting because on arrival at Mitra's house, the first thing she had pointed out to me was her laden sapodilla tree. I decided to add Sapodilla to the bird's name.

Sapodilla Dawn was covered in mites and kept opening her beak for me to feed her. I called Detta (whom I normally call for advice when I find baby animals), but did not get through. I had had good intentions of rearing Sapo-D until she could fly (as with Rainbow the pigeon), but I didn't think Rainbow's heavy diet of soggy oats and bird feed would have worked with Sappie. Not wanting to give her the wrong food and kill her, I wrapped her in toilet paper (a temporary nest) and returned to the tree under which I'd found her.

Upon my return, another man was there, clearing away dead leaves with the blower. I stopped him, showed him Sapo-D and said I was leaving her near the nest for the parents. He said that he would keep an eye on her and when he was finished blowing he would get a ladder and put her back in the nest.

I decided to trust him.

I removed Sapo-D from the toilet paper, placed her in a safe spot near the tree and walked away.

Free

2008-04-08T05:26:00.001-05:00

Wow. At first I felt a sense of shock and then a feeling of loss. Then, as I continued to read, a sense of relief washed over me and I began to remember the idea of non-attachment and how freeing that can be. We achieve so much more in this life when we are non-attached to the material, and take with us instead the spiritual gifts that something as profound as living art offers us. Thank you for releasing our dreams to the universe. From our hearts, through the dream house, and out into the air until the earth...

(A friend's response to yesterday's post about the dismantling of the Dream House)

Full circle

2008-04-07T05:54:00.002-05:00

The Cosmic Web in the tree under which it all began

Yesterday my friend Glen came with his pickup van. We went to collect the Dream House from the Raj Yoga Centre where it has been since it left Alice Yard. I was going to keep it at home until I figured out where next it would go.

However, on the two-minute drive back home from the Raj Yoga Centre, a decision was made which may surprise some people. Dismantle the entire Dream House ... rather than keep it, sell it or put it anywhere else. It was an unexpected decision, but it felt like the right thing to do and the right day to do it. No amount of thought was involved and I felt no attachment to the piece. We parked in the driveway. Glen got out his screw driver and started to unscrew everything that was keeping the lamp together. I went inside and got a bucket with a cover - to keep all our dreams in (until I source an appropriate clay vessel). Within minutes the Dream House as we knew it was no more.

As of yesterday, this physical structure no longer exists.
*

The original idea was (once Veronica's House is built) to gather all of the dreams that people have put into the Dream House, place them in a clay vessel (time capsule), hike into a forest, bury the vessel of dreams and plant a tree (still to be decided what kind) on that spot. This will still be done (at a date and place to be announced), but as of yesterday, the timing has changed. I will do it before Veronica's House is constructed. Energetically, the Dream House and Veronica's House now feel like two separate entities.*

The dismantling process felt very freeing. I made the comment to Glen that it felt as though we were doing something for everyone's dreams. As soon as I said it, a sudden light rain sprinkled us, lasting a few seconds.

"Blessings," Glen said.

I know some people will be taken aback and will ask (as has already happened): "How could you do that to your artwork?!" or: "Why did you destroy the Dream House?!!" But it is not destruction. It as a part of the process. It is in keeping with the way I followed my feelings and instincts (about this window) from the very start, so I trust it. Glen took the parts back home - to somehow reuse the wood and metal in his factory. I kept the bulb and lock and the dream catcher/cosmic web.

I took the cosmic web and put it to hang on the same tree at the bottom of the garden under which the original window (Kairos) once stood. As I hung it, I suddenly remembered that in the beginning, there had been a spider's web being spun above that very spot. This is the web that had inspired the dream catcher/cosmic web in the first place. This confirmed for me that everything was right and had come full circle.

* Brief update: we are partnering with Habitat for Humanity to build Veronica's House.

Life Before Death

2008-04-06T05:54:00.000-05:00

Through a friend's link, I encountered this site. Anyone looking at it would have their own personal experience. The subject matter is intense.

This sombre series of portraits taken of people before and after they had died is a challenging and poignant study. The work by German photographer Walter Schels and his partner Beate Lakotta, who recorded interviews with the subjects in their final days, reveals much about dying - and living.

Manzanilla moment

2008-04-05T18:03:00.000-05:00

Manzanilla: ever changing, yet the same.
*

A photo is only visual and can never capture a moment as fully as we experience it. All of the other senses were engaged at this moment.
Touch - walking on the sand there are firm parts and there are unexpected parts where suddenly your foot sinks in as if you are in quicksand
Taste - there is a strong sea spray. If you stick out your tongue you taste it
Smell - wet, salty, nothing too overpowering
Sound/Hearing - constant roar of sea and wind, a wild sound
Extra sense - the sacredness of Manzanilla

Sunday Scribblings: Photograph

Au revoir

2008-04-05T07:05:00.000-05:00

Water lily in the Pax pond, where the French crew spent their last two days
*

Early this morning Ilana (director, who had come in two weeks ago) and Stefan (cameraman, who came in a week ago) left Trinidad to return to Paris. After one final interview in the morning yesterday, we drove to Manzanilla, where we spent a few hours. A delicious dinner at Pax brought the day (and this French experience) to a close.

C'était bien et Ilana et Stefan sont très genial. I will miss the real life experience of talking in French, as I learned a lot from it. I have an invitation to visit Paris, so once I've fuelled up my private jet I'll definitely stop by.

Drumming, dreaming, mid-air dancing

2008-04-04T06:41:00.000-05:00

I keep dreaming I am in Toronto. Every night for the past week or so I'm there (sometimes briefly, sometimes for a long time) and it just feels like an extension of where I already am. Not as if I've made any drastic moves or used any forms of transport to get there. Many times I am sitting in a particular place. I don't know where it is or if it exists ... but it always makes me think of an American Diner and it is largely white with plush red leathery seats and couches (quite like the image on that link). The frontage is pure glass and looks onto a tall brown brick apartment building.

Last night there was a gathering of 'natural' people, wearing recycled clothing, hemp, etc. I was with them and we were pulling out our instruments on the sidewalk. I pulled out Dandelion and started to play her. The sound that came out was different: deep and slack. At first I thought she needed tightening. Upon looking more closely I realised there was a slash in her skin (a hole). I was horrified, but my first thought was: "Thank God I'm in Toronto" because my first instinct was that I had to go to Saikou, at whose shop I had bought Dandelion.

In another part of the dream, I was there (in TO) yet here (in T'dad) and looking through the window to the grass where the doves feed in droves. Suddenly a single dove flew up ... or rather, it rose in a straight vertical line (as if being beamed up by a force). It did not need to flap its wings in order to be airborne. Rising with it from the grass was a strange-looking yellowy-creamish creature. I couldn't make out what the creature was. The two of them were in mid-air responding to each other in what appeared to be a dance. They headed to the window and came inside, still in their mid-air dance. I retreated, so as not to disturb them ... and also because I had no idea what was going on or what the creamish creature was.

There was someone else with me (not sure who).

At some point the creamish creature dropped to the ground and the person who was with me went and picked it up and brought it to me. It was a baby swan.

Another 'Elspeth' classic

2008-04-03T13:53:00.001-05:00

(From a phone call a few minutes ago)

Me: Hello, may I speak with Mrs Xxxxx, please?

Woman who answered: She's on lunch. May I ask who's calling?

Me: Elspeth Duncan

Woman (brief pause): E ... E ...

Me (slowly): Elll - spethhhhh Duncan

Woman: L ... Elstet?

Me: No. Elspeth.

(This is followed by a few variations of the name which I can't remember now, then):

Woman (finally getting it): Elspeth! Forgive me!

(She then consults with the person I am trying to get onto and comes back to the phone):

Woman: L ... Les ... look, Elsie, she will call you back in 7 minutes.

Try it and see what you get

2008-04-03T06:47:00.002-05:00

Stuck in l'embouteillage yesterday on the way back from POS.
Leather star hanging from my rearview mirror. Cement truck in front of my car.

When stuck in traffic, if you have someone with you (and some paper and a pen), here is a possible game to play, to while away the hours. Try an example now (below) and see what you come up with.

What to do:
1. Think of and write down 5 random single nouns (e.g. window, field, etc.)
2. Once you've done that, scroll down this page. Don't scroll down until you've written those words down somewhere.

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3. Fill your words (in the order you wrote them down) into the blank slots to complete the poem:

Today when I woke up and saw the ______________,
I got goosebumps.
At once, I rose from my bed and went to the ___________.
A friend was there with this large _________ in her hands.
Giving it to me, she said: "Life is such a big _____________. Enjoy it!"
I smiled and danced around the ______________.

4. Feel free to put your completed poems in the comments. Would love to see what you've come up with.

The only thing changing in TT is food prices

2008-04-02T16:14:00.001-05:00

In November 2007 (post-elections) I stopped buying and reading newspapers. The daily onslaught of bad news and politics was getting me angry, tense and irritable. If there was a newspaper nearby I would avert my eyes and not even look at the headlines. Driving by the women on the road who sell papers in traffic I would stare straight ahead and ignore the headlines they were holding up for drivers to see. I also stopped looking at news on TV and if it came on the radio while I was listening to it, I would quickly turn the radio off. News on the radio usually begins: "A man was ..." or "A woman was ..." or "Three people were ..." (and something about death). Ignoring the news worked. I became more peaceful within and didn't feel the frustration and anger. Living in TT no longer seemed as hopeless. (Ignorance is bliss). I only had to deal with the road rage and lack of customer service. I found I had more energy to focus on positive things. A lot of energy is wasted being angry about or frustrated with what goes on here.

In the past week, however, I have found myself picking up the papers and glancing at the headlines, quickly scanning what has been written (but not dwelling on it), also scanning a few pages inside (and not dwelling). Nothing has changed. It's all still multiple murders, multiple road deaths, political drama, corruption. The only thing that seems to be changing (daily) is food prices.

Today the front page of the papers announced: chicken prices going up, flour going up (hence all the things that are made of flour), taxi fares for St. Anns and St. James going up. And so on.

Imagine 4 doubles* and a sweet drink now cost $17.

Two pilhourie balls cost $4.

The other day on the way back from the beach, two friends and I stopped off for 3 shark and bakes and two bottles of water. The bill was a whopping $87.

Is there any sign of the Gov't putting things in place for us to grow our own food so we can be self sufficient? Or is it that agricultural land is only good for housing? The other day some friends and I were discussing growing our own food crops and sharing our produce among ourselves.

* While on the topic of doubles ... the other day I took Ilana (French director) to sample doubles by UWI. When I was finished eating mine, I wanted to discard the paper, napkin and bag. I saw no bin anywhere in the vicinity. I asked a man in his late 50's getting into the car next to mine: "Is there a bin around here?"

He looked at me with deadpan seriousness and said: "No, but there's a running drain."

...

2008-04-02T06:49:00.001-05:00

Where are you?

Out of this world

2008-04-01T06:15:00.001-05:00

This week's Sunday Scribblings topic is: Out of this world" In this inverted photo my eyes subtly reveal their alien shape.
*

Of course there is life beyond Earth. Humans feel that they are superior to 'other animals' (so much so that 'the human being' is rarely referred to as 'an animal'). This superiority complex leads many (most) humans to believe: "We are the only beings in this Universe."

Is it possible that something as vast and incomprehensible as the Universe would limit itself to having humans as the only 'living organisms' or 'intelligent life forms' in existence? Humans can't even begin to comprehend the true scope of the Universe, much less all that is in it.

When I was small I used to constantly try and envision the Universe as 'having no end' and being 'infinite'. That, along with the question: "If God made us, then who made God?" used to baffle me and drive me up a wall. No-one could explain it well enough to satisfy me.*

When we walk down the road today, how many visitors will we see? It is easy to point out someone who looks foreign, either by the way they are dressed, the way they are looking around them with fascination and excitement (or confusion or disgust), the things they are taking photos of (or the fact that they are taking photos at all), etc.

But how easy is it to spot the visitors we receive from other planets? Being one myself, I can tell you I know a few.

* As young aliens sent to live on earth we go through this initial human confusion when we try to envision our home.

Unknowing smiles

2008-03-31T06:12:00.000-05:00

The other day someone said to me: "Spec, why are you smiling?" I said: "I am?!" I wasn't even aware of it. As far as I was concerned I was probably looking blasé, but apparently I had a smile stuck on my face. I can't remember exactly what I was doing, but it must have been something 'routine' like work or waiting. I thought "Hmmm." Maybe somewhere within, I am happy and at peace, but am not conscious of it.

Then yesterday afternoon I was walking down the road to meet the French. A large pick-up truck passed by and the man driving it waved enthusiastically to me. I waved back, thinking I knew him. About one minute later he pulled up beside me (he had turned his van around and come back). He drove alongside me, gesticulating and calling out something about "Had to" and "smile". At that time someone had just called me on the cellular phone and I was talking, so couldn't make out what he was saying. I just waved and kept walking and talking. I didn't know him and thought he would drive off. But he turned the corner, stopped and waited for me to cross the road (by which time I was off the phone).

He got out of his pick-up and stood at a distance (perhaps respectful of the fact that in this age of crime it is best as a man to stay far when speaking to a woman who doesn't know you). He was staring at me, beaming and looking like he had just found some kind of treasure. "I had to come back and tell you!" he said (he had an English accent and looked like a mixed Indian/Anglo). His hair was wild like he had just been through a storm. I guess some people would look at him and think he was 'crazy', but I thought he just looked like 'himself'. He started to apologise for waving (maybe he felt he had to because he felt I would wonder why a stranger was waving to me) then said: "But I had to wave because you have the most captivating smile!"

"I was smiling?" I said, again not been aware that I had been.

"Yes! You were! And I had to come back and tell you to keep it! Keep it!" He was like a motivational coach in his energy. He went on about how the 'captivating smile' had made him turn around and come back and how 'it works'. "It works for you! Keep it" He looked so overjoyed and effusive, literally beaming.

I thanked him for stopping to tell me, he wished me a 'fabulous afternoon! And keep it!' ... to which I told him: "And you keep that wave" and continued walking.

That encounter made me think of a few things. First, the reason I had thanked him was not so much because of his appreciation of 'the smile', but because of the fact that he had turned around and stopped to tell me what he had felt in that moment. Not many people would do that. (i) They are afraid. (ii) They are too busy (iii) They might think the other would think they are crazy.

The next thing I thought was about 'being crazy'. When anyone looks 'too happy', in public (especially when alone), generally people tend to wonder: "What happen to she/he?" I remember once seeing a well-dressed woman walking down Maraval Road alone, smiling broadly for an extended period of time. People were staring at her as if she was mad. Another time there was a woman, absorbed in smiling and humming loudly to herself as she laid out her groceries for the HiLo cashier. The cashier was looking at her in that 'whappen to she" way, like she was crazy.

If extended smiling and humming are signs of lunacy, then what a pity we live in a sane world.

des nouveaux mots

2008-03-28T18:38:00.001-05:00

After talking in French, when it's time to talk in English again I feel somewhat disappointed. My friend Nic feels the same way about Spanish (she is doing evening classes). We both agree that a new language is like a new life, a new perspective, a new everything. It can transform a mundane or routine task or subject into an adventure. Even sitting in traffic today heading into POS, I didn't notice the heat and frustration because I was busy parler-ing.

Sitting in traffic (l'embouteillage) on the way home from POS.
*

Here are some of the new words I learned yesterday and today:
âme soeur - the French term for 'Soul mate'. It literally means soul sister ... soul (âme) sister (soeur). Interestingly, the term is even applied to a male person.
la vie de bonvivant - the good life; the life of someone who lives well
bordel - the word means 'brothel' but is used to say that something is a mess. I learned this word while eating doubles (bordelique - messy; or c'est le bordel)

La vie est la classe

2008-03-27T05:40:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I missed French class because of work but it's not like I really missed anything - because I've been getting more practice in real life by speaking in French during the day. I retain the language better through relevant real time conversation (where I can apply it to what's going on), than through a book. The advantage of the book is getting to see the spelling.

Two of yesterday's new phrases:
1. J'ai envie de (or j'ai super envie de) - I have a craving for ... (I wanted to say 'I have a craving for M&M's)
2. Quifaites - not sure I'm spelling it right, but it's a slangish term which is like the French version of 'liming'

Je suis occupée

2008-03-26T06:13:00.001-05:00

Le dimanche, le réalisateur français est arrivé à Trinidad. Elle travaille ici pendant deux semaines. Elle est sympa. Quelquefois nous parlons en anglais, quelquefois en français. Nous avons commencé notre premier jour de travail hier - un jour très long mais interessant. Elle regarde Trinidad avec une perspective differente et elle demande les questions interessants.

J'ai apprendu deux nouveaux mots/phrases:
1. la chauve-souris - bat (the animal - literally translated as 'the bald mouse')
2. faire le points - to make a list

(If you don't understand the above, to translate, you can copy and paste it into Babelfish and select the 'French to English' option. It translates with some words wrong, some left in French and using different articles - e.g. 'it' instead of 'she', etc. ... but you get the basic idea)

The ones we love

2008-03-26T05:45:00.000-05:00

Saw this link on Shutter Sisters today: the ones we love ... photos of loved ones taken by young people.

"The Ones We Love is a project highlighting young and talented photographers from around the world. Each artist contributed six photographs of the person(s) who is most important to them, taken outdoors in a natural setting. The goal of the website is to portray the people who are loved, cherished, and inspirational to these artists, and also showcase the differences and similarities in the photographs each of them took within the same guidelines."

Changing landscapes

2008-03-24T08:30:00.002-05:00

This morning as I ate breakfast I thought about the world and how big (yet how small) it is; not only geographically, but in terms of the amount of people on the planet. Of all of these billions of people, we will meet and get to know only a few in this lifetime.

Why those people?

Someone walks along a vast sandy beach. One of the grains of sand which stuck to her foot when she first started walking drops off miles later, right next to a grain of sand that it would never have been next to had the woman not walked that day.

The entire landscape changes.

Getting into TV

2008-03-23T12:33:00.000-05:00

Looking at TV may not be as exciting as looking inside of it. Bjork demonstrates.

I was born to be me

2008-03-23T05:07:00.000-05:00

I was tagged by Human Being to write a six word memoir. Mine is the subject heading of this post.

Now I am to tag five more blogs for the meme:
Andreamuse
Lynn
Kim
Gary
Leaving the fifth blank for anyone who wants to do it.

What to do:
1.) Write a six-word memoir, post it on your blog (add an illustration if you like).
2.) Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
3.) Tag five more blogs with links.
4.) Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

Eureka! A great way to learn a language!

2008-03-21T09:17:00.001-05:00

This morning when I woke up I was thinking that if I went to sleep listening to French on headphones, it would be a good way to 'immerse' myself because the language would be working into my subconscious. That led me to think of meditation ... that if I had some guided French meditations it would be a great way for me to 'absorb' the language and relax at the same time. Plus, being meditation, the voice would be talking slowly and understandably ... and not at the breakneck speed of the French comprehensions notre professeur gives us in class.

I went online and typed in French meditation audio and found this: http://www.maitreyaproject.org/en/peace/index.html

I downloaded and listened to some of the French version and it sounds great. Can't wait to sit quietly and try it. It will be exciting to experience the inner world in a new language.

Many wows in many nows

2008-03-20T18:02:00.002-05:00

The amazing synchronicity of life makes it happen.

Thought of Dandelion(s) when I read this little story ...

2008-03-20T07:04:00.000-05:00

Dandelions (TO, 2007)

(Source of story: Warrior of Light; Paulo Coelho)

Nadia spent the whole autumn sowing and preparing his garden. In the spring, the flowers opened, and Nadia noticed a few dandelions that he had not planted.

Nadia pulled them up. But the seeds had already spread, and others grew. He tried to find a poison that would kill only dandelions. An expert told him that any poison would end up killing all the other flowers too. In despair, Nadia sought help from a gardener.

'It's just like marriage,' said the gardener. 'Along with the good things, there are always a few inconveniences.'

'What should I do, then?

'Nothing. They may not be the flowers you intended to have, but they are still part of the garden.'

Dandelion

Mes devoirs

2008-03-19T13:28:00.001-05:00

Source

This term I have been lax with my French. Not as enthused as I was last year. I guess because I have more 'distractions' now ... and also because I am somewhat fed up of the book. I prefer when we talk about our lives, thereby using the language to express ourselves naturally, rather than doing lessons based on what someone else has written (which has nothing to do with us). I think I need to be immersed (either in France or Montreal, preferably) and live the language. Anyway, in a few days I can be immersed to some extent quand la femme Français arrivera pour faire le documentaire.

We get back our French midterm test results today. Hmmm. I guessed my way through parts of the comprehension. Maybe I was almost as creative as my classmate last year who wrote about skiing with the chef who crashed into a tree.

Now to go and do my French homework for this afternoon's class: You have a French guest spending a day with you. You want to take him out to somewhere that he will enjoy, so work out how to propose some of the possibilities in your area.

I'll start it off here ...

(Au téléphone)

Moi: Allo, Jean.
Jean: Elspeth! Ça va?
Moi: Ça va. Ecoutes ... Il ferrai beau temps demain. As-tu prevú quelque chose?
Jean: Non. Mais j'ai entendu parler d'une plage ... Toco?
Moi: Oui, Toco. Ça te dit?
Jean: Oui, pourquoi pas? Allons-y!
Moi: Ça me va.
Jean: C'est loin de ta maison?
Moi: Oui, assez loin. Viens chez moi à six heures du matin et nous partirons à sept heures. Nous passerons deux heures dans la voiture, donc nous arriverons à ma plage favourite, Mission Bay. Tu verras de l'eau bleu et des grandes vagues.

(I'll finish the rest offline ...)
*

Later ...

Discipline

2008-03-18T06:37:00.000-05:00

Yesterday from the moment I woke up at about 4:30-ish (after meditating briefly) I headed for Lily. I thought I would just tweak a few sentences, but sometimes all it takes is one thing to click ... one word or sentence that has the right feeling to it ... and next thing you know, I was grabbed up and swept along. Before I knew it, it was 4:30 p.m. and time to head down the road to French class.

Of course at points during the day I had to reluctantly rip myself away from the flow of Lily to attend to other things:
1. Lunch meeting with someone who briefed me on a new project I may be working on
2. Make and answer VHouse-related calls
3. Do a little research for une femme française qui arrivera le 23 mars. Elle filmera un documentaire et je travaillerai avec elle.
4. Eat, drink and bathe

Sometimes one has to find the discipline to sit down and work on something. But in the case of Lily I think there may be times when I will have to find the discipline to 'dis-absorb' myself from it and do other things.

Wish

2008-03-17T05:09:00.001-05:00

Last night I sat on the verandah upstairs to eat a slice of pizza. I swung the reclining chair around so that I would be looking over the back garden and the field toward Port-of-Spain in the distance. The sky was like a large screen, bright and a little hazy. My decision to sit there was perfect timing. I had only been sitting a few seconds when a long white streak cut through the atmosphere. A shooting star (meteoroid)! One of my favourite natural phenomena. It was beautiful, lasting quite a while before disintegrating totally. Reminded me of high school days in the Chemistry lab, burning magnesium strips.

Demolition of house and book

2008-03-16T08:05:00.001-05:00

Yesterday while I was in the writing workshop, the contractor was demolishing the old house on the land where Veronica's House will be built. Amazing how different a piece of land can look after demolition of whatever structure was on it. In parallel, I'm sure the first draft of my novel Lily will look and feel different from what it is now (and has been since 1998) when I demolish it and build something else.

Lily is what I am attempting to rework in this workshop. I had written it over two or three days in 1998 when I was living in Woodbrook. I had woken up one morning consumed by the sudden impulse to write out what was streaming through my head. Perhaps it had come from a vivid dream, because everything was so markedly visual. I hurriedly started writing out the images I was seeing and did nothing else for two or three days and nights (except bathe and maybe drink water). It was like taking dictation from a boss who spoke rapidly and didn't let me go for coffee breaks. I had never been (and have never been since then) so consumed by any creative process. The visual descriptions were beginning to tell a story from the perspective of a camera. I didn't have a computer or a laptop then, so I had to borrow a friend's laptop, to enable me to keep up with the speed at which everything was coming. I didn't intend for it to be a book, but before I knew it, that's what I had. But it didn't feel like a 'book book'. It was a visual, moody, atmospheric piece which somehow had a particular rhythm, like a long piece of music using words as notes. (As I had been writing it I was also hearing the music, which is the reason why I went and got a loan and bought my keyboard Haniel).

A comment the writing tutor put at the end of the extract I had submitted (we had to submit 5 pages prior to being selected for the workshop): You use language here well. Your sentences sing. I think however you need to give your reader more clues, to follow your narrative line.

What she is saying is right and reflects what I always felt about Lily. The musical/lyrical aspects are the dominant parts. They are what swept me along. A narrative line is there, but all over the place and needing 'orchestration'. Literally, like a dream that I woke up from and tried to explain in concrete terms. It is also the 'vomit' she spoke about - what comes out first and needs to be reworked many times before becoming the publishable novel. So saying, I think it is very interesting vomit, with wonderful colours, textures and shapes ... but (again, as she told us) can we eat it right now?

Something is missing

2008-03-15T05:52:00.000-05:00

These days blogging feels different. I'm not sure why. I love doing it every day, but something is missing and I don't quite know what it is.

Maybe I am feeling emptiness, after having been so intensely woven into The Dream House and Veronica's House. They had (have) a distinct purpose to them.

As much as I love blogging and don't consciously feel like stopping, it is beginning to feel 'dead'. Why am I blogging daily? What is its importance? What purpose does it serve? Who cares? If I stopped, what would change?

In a way, it's as if the blog is a little extension of me: a daily cyber canvas of general thoughts, feelings, ideas, projects ... life in a cyber nutshell, so to speak. So then ... if I took what I just wrote and replaced the word 'blogging' with 'living', what would that say?

These days living feels different. I'm not sure why. I love doing it every day, but something is missing and I don't quite know what it is ...

Going green

2008-03-14T10:36:00.000-05:00

Some friends of mine are going (back) to live in Canada and had a garage sale some weeks ago. I got this green trail bike (with strap on bag to hold water, etc.) and a large hammock big enough to hold two, maybe even three people. I haven't used either yet ...

Before using the bike I need to get around to servicing it, getting a lock and a helmet. I'm thinking (for now) I will ride it around St. Augustine, whenever I have things to do in the area and don't feel like dealing with traffic, finding a parking space, using gas to get from point A to B, emitting exhaust fumes, etc. I can ride it to French classes, to the grocery, to the bank, to the stationery shop, to Greenlight meetings, early in the morning (instead of walking) and up to the Mount for exercise, etc. I could take off the front wheel so the bike will fit in my car, then go riding on the trails in Chaguaramas (which I've done before, but with a rented bike) ... and so on.

The other day a friend and I were driving through Curepe and then onto the highway. A young woman (looking like a foreigner) on a bike zipped by my car. We passed her and stopped at a traffic light. As the lights changed, there she was again, confidently zipping onto the highway and keeping a steady pace. We were stuck in traffic and she breezed by us and sailed onto the Southern Main Road without a care in the world ...

One sure way to beat traffic.

Were it not for the heat, crazy drivers, road rage, no bike lanes and often deep drains at the sides of roads, I would be happy to ride to most places I go ... and use the car for long distances only.

I look into my glass of water

2008-03-13T10:49:00.000-05:00

Location: Hotel Normandie
*
A woman sings.
A man drums.
In my glass of water:
Vibrations.
Ripples.

Writing workshops

2008-03-13T07:02:00.001-05:00

Last night when I got home there was an e-mail saying I've been accepted into the Cropper Foundation's Residential workshop for Caribbean writers. It will take place over 3 weeks in July up in the coastal area of Balandra. It will be a whole new experience. I've never been to a writing workshop in my life and now suddenly in 2008 I'm in two.

Yesterday I had to be in Port-of-Spain for a function starting at 8 a.m. ... so left home at 5:30 a.m. to avoid getting stuck in traffic (which starts piling up from 6:00). Got into town by 6:30 and had all that time to kill ... so sat in my car and tried to do my writing homework for this Saturday's session. Somehow it just wasn't happening ...

Once I start to think about something (especially something creative) and deliberately apply structure or effort to it, it just doesn't seem to flow that easily (if at all). I'm not a structured person when it comes to creativity. I'm good at what our workshop tutor refers to as 'the vomit' - the first thing that comes out. It's the cleaning up process (where the vomit becomes something that others can eat) that I need to consciously work at.

Karen, Marcus, Alex

2008-03-12T04:41:00.001-05:00

Just felt I'd put this photo up for Chookooloonks today.

E. Hemingway

2008-03-11T06:14:00.001-05:00

Saturday gone, we went to our first session of the writing workshop (fiction). Our tutor is here from the States and will be with us for 3 hours every Saturday for the next 8 weeks. In that time, at points during the week, we will each also have 2 one-on-one sessions with her. It is a class of 18 people (16 female, 2 male) - inclusive of Andreamuse and my friend Carolyn.

Homework is a lot of reading from prescribed texts ("Read it as a writer, not a reader") ... and of course some writing. I must admit, I'm not much of a reader. This needs to change ... "if you are going to write novels" (as one girl in the class pointed out to me). Unless a book really grabs me during the first page, continuing is an effort or, at best, a determined choice. My sister Vanessa, on the other hand, consumes books like a rabid animal.

Nevertheless, I did the homework on Sunday. Just the reading part ... not yet the 'write notes about it' part or the 'write a page describing a character or a setting'.

This week, until Wednesday, I will be in a training workshop (video related). Thursday and Friday will be busy with other things ... but I will make the time somewhere within those days to work on my prose, especially if I am to meet my date with destiny ... 2013 (by which time I am basking in the afterglow of my run away best selling novel-soon-to-be-a-major-motion-picture).

Once when I was in Paris, I went into a quaint bar with my friend/traveling companion/Cambridge housemate, Harriet. We sat at the dark wooden bar on tall wooden stools and ordered whatever we were drinking. At one point Harriet said to me: "Look down, E." When I looked down I saw a name engraved in brass, screwed into the wood of the bar before me: Ernest Hemingway. I was sitting in 'his' seat.

Not that I want to be like Hemingway, but it was an interesting symbol.

Official Veronica's House website

2008-03-09T17:15:00.000-05:00

Scene from 'Invisible': Veronica and her 4 year old daughter.
*

Those who are interested in knowing what is happening with Veronica's House can log onto our new official website, kindly created by Roger Kirton.

There are different tabs, as you will notice. Have a look around.

ABOUT US gives you an overview of the project.
MEDIA gives you the film and an Express newspaper article.
MAKE DONATIONS gives banking info (Canadian info and Paypal to come)
TORONTO will give updates on what is happening in Toronto as Katie has linked up with some people there to organise a few fundraising screenings and events
OUR TEAM gives an idea of the team (names to be added) and a thank you list (names will be added as time goes on)
CONTACTS gives you main contacts

The website is a work in progress and there are still a few tweaks to be made. We will most likely be adding a WEEKLY UPDATES tab, so that you can log on weekly to easily get detailed progress reports.

The girlzzzz in 2013

2008-03-08T17:54:00.002-05:00

(From l. to r.): Keshia A., Dara N., Elspeth D.
Read all about this photo here

Last week our famous friend Keshia A. called from her spa in Mexico and extended an invitation to all of us to fly to our old home ground (Trinidad) for a reunion at More Vino (wine bar) ... on Friday 7 March.

Anything for an old pal.

The first day of the shoot also happened to be 7 March, so I had to postpone filming. Jane (Campion) and Stevie (both of whom have been clamouring to work on the motion picture my runaway best selling novel has inspired) were sorely disappointed ... but I assured them that filming will happen once I return to Toronto in a month's time. Got to make a stop in London before heading back. Madonna wants me to spend a week or two, see the colour scheme and 'feel the spirit' of her new mansion ... so that I will gain inspiration for the new window lamp she ordered.

It was great seeing the girlzzzzz again. Amazing how much we've all achieved in five short years! Paula O. with her Pulitzer, Keshia A. with her spa and soon-to-be-#1-in-the-world TV talk show ... and Dara N saving people left, right and centre with her super legal powers. Our various successes remind me fondly of my old high school motto: Per ardua ad astra.

So true. Keep on keeping on and one day the stars will be yours.

See a few more of our 2013 photos here and read all about our fame and fortune.

****

(This was our 'Come as you will be in 2013' lime. The role playing was lots of fun ... and funny ... and felt quite real).

Animal cruelty in the name of 'art' and 'fun'

2008-03-07T10:14:00.000-05:00

I never know if these things are really true ... but knowing what horrors human beings are capable of, I wouldn't be surprised if this disgusting art display is real. The pictures don't look Photoshopped or staged.

I learned about it this morning from an e-mail a friend sent me:

Please sign the petition to boycott the artist. His name is Guillermo Habacuc Vargas. He took a starving dog off the street and tied it up in a gallery as his exhibit. He felt that the dog would have eventually died on the streets so it was okay to let it continue starving. If you can spare a moment please sign this petition to boycott this "artist" representing his country in the Biennal Central America Honduras 2008 exhibition.

Why?!!!!!!

Animals are helpless ... and at 'the mercy' of humans, who foolishly consider themselves to be superior, acting as if they own the planet and (one day, they believe - through space exploration) the entire Universe.

The other morning when I was going for my walk around UWI I met a man strolling with his dog. We ended up walking and talking about various things (one topic being animals). He told me about a time he was walking through campus and witnessed a car full of laughing young men deliberately drive over a sleeping stray dog ... obviously for 'fun'. The dog apparently was not killed. It jumped up and ran off ... but no doubt was suffering from internal injuries.

photo source

In movies I close my eyes for scenes involving animals (e.g. horses falling in battle), even though they (are supposed to) have that disclaimer at the end about no animals being hurt during filming. Neither can I view real life animal cruelty (e.g. the seals being clubbed in Canada). Looking at those photos of the seal cubs being clubbed leaves me feeling as helpless as they are. Just disgusting. So that you can have a fur coat?!!! Even visiting the PETA site ... I see the headlines and find it extremely difficult to read further ...

Drinking a rainbow

2008-03-06T07:55:00.000-05:00

Employing

2008-03-05T08:25:00.001-05:00

I now realise the value of having a 'personal assistant' (aka secretary). Things are really busy - not only with Veronica's House matters, but work coming in. I am thinking: "How will I do all of these things?" I am trying to compartmentalise my mind, structure my time, balance my life ... not wanting to get swept away by one thing and neglect the other things and, in the process, myself.

My friend Keshia is here from Miami for a week and has been helping me. Yesterday, as I answered a ton-load of e-mails and did other work things, she attended to Veronica's House matters. She made calls to the various organisations who had held meetings re the House, following up to see where they had reached in their planning, etc. I felt a load slip from my shoulders as she handled it. She is a pro at making calls like that, having done hours of community service in the States at one point. Her voice is gentle and friendly and she knows exactly what to say in those kinds of phonecalls, takes notes, phone numbers, reports back to me efficiently, etc. In other words, I can trust her with eyes closed to do what needs to be done. However, she is only here for a week! I need to have someone like that as my personal assistant on an ongoing basis ... someone who can:
(i) write grammatically correct letters to organisations and companies when necessary
(ii) write proposals (that would be a great asset)
(iii) make phonecalls, speak well, record detailed information and details correctly
(iv) interact personably with people
(v) understand the creative and business worlds
(vi) think financially
(viii) get a lot of work done without me having to 'look over their shoulder'
(ix) be proactive
(x) be trusted
(xi) keep me organised (writing things in my diary, reminding me, etc.)

My real list of requirements would be more detailed, but that gives an outline. Such a person is valuable and deserves to be paid well. This will come in time.

Now I am in the process of sourcing a new assistant who will work with me on an upcoming project. I think I have found the person.

The 4th song (2008)

2008-03-04T05:46:00.000-05:00

This is the song I've chosen to be #4 on my "Soundtrack for 2008".

Eventful day & Français

2008-03-03T12:07:00.001-05:00

I started off the day by making an appearance on the Morning Edition, to talk about Veronica's House. I felt a bit nervy, since (a) I don't like being on TV (b) I did it alone (c) I was talking about things I am a novice at (construction, etc). But those who saw it reported that I looked very calm and put it across well, so I guess my fears were unfounded. Along with an article which appeared in today's Express (on VHouse)*, it's a double thrust for the cause all in one day. Definitely now more people will be aware of it. I did get one important call after the show which struck me (among other things) for this reason in particular: within our conversation the woman described the thing she was telling me about (in relation to VHouse and the video) as "a window of opportunity". As she said those words, a bell went off in my head ... because of course that was the name I used for the window before it became 'Dream House' ...

* (I can't find the link to the article or I would have included it here).

And soon there will be a dedicated website ... for anyone who wants to check in and see what the VHouse progress report. Things are happening behind the scenes and abroad as well.

French exams are later today at 5:00 p.m. I have been distracted and threfore neglecting French this year ... compared to last year when I was more naturally focused on it. Did some cramming yesterday with one of the other students ... and I will do some more in a short while.

Wish me 'bonne chance'.

'Invisible' on Youtube

2008-03-01T10:17:00.000-05:00

INVISIBLE: Children Living with HIV/AIDS
Length: 10 minutes 55 seconds
A mini documentary created in 2007 by Happy Hippy Productions for the TTCRC (Trinidad and Tobago Coalition for the Convention on the Rights of the Child)

Olfactory photographs

2008-02-29T07:23:00.001-05:00

I haven't done Sunday Scribblings in a while. This week it's 'Time Travel'.

Yesterday Andreamusc was with me. We went together to pay the registration fee for an 8-week writing workshop we were accepted to (starting next Saturday).

After paying, I had to go into town to drop and collect a few things. Andreamuse came along for the adventure. One of my stops was the Film Company, to drop off a submission (film) for the festival. As we left the building, Andreamuse commented: "This building reminds me of Scotland."

As soon as she said it, I became aware of the smell. "It's the smell," I said.

It transported me back to a childhood moment in Scotland ... the smell of what must have been a combination of things: the carpet, late evening, wool (sweaters) and an electric heater. I can vividly see the orange glow of the coiled thing in the heater whenever I smell that particular smell. It is a smell I look for (and have found) in cold climates, when I am indoors (usually in a domestic setting) with a particular level of heating. It is the smell of cosiness. I also look for it (and find it) when I smell wool and certain sweaters. It's a very distinct and comforting scent, but hard to describe: somewhat sweet with a touch of something that if it were not a smell would be the colour orange and a small spark of fire.

I wonder if certain feelings of pleasure and comfort in that childhood moment made me record that smell and store it as my memory of Scotland. Like a photograph.

When?

2008-02-28T04:11:00.000-05:00

When use words?
When use silence?
When use action?
When use stillness?

Thank You ... and a final update for now

2008-02-27T00:00:00.003-05:00

Scene from 'Invisible': Veronica and her daughter

A lot has happened since last Friday. Energy and interest continue to be generated around the mini-documentary 'Invisible: Children living with HIV/AIDS' and the cause that arose from it (the building of a home for Veronica and her children). Moved by the situation, various individuals and organisations have stepped up and made offers of support: financial, advice, media, service, materials and otherwise.

Scene from 'Invisible': Veronica giving her 4 year old daughter her medication

It is necessary to build Veronica's House within a certain time frame (by end of July). It is also necessary to recognize that 'Rome wasn't built in a day.' Now is a time when those who have offered to help will be meeting with their groups and superiors to determine what will tangibly be given or done. At some point, words will become actions and the work will begin. When that time comes, an online update will be given on Veronica's House.

Meanwhile, on behalf of Veronica and her children, we thank the following individuals and organisations for their involvement thus far.

(From 'Invisible'): "She's not the first and she won't be the last ..."

THANK YOU
(In first-name-alphabetical order):

Angela Lee Loy
Ann Duncan
Barry 'Tiger Woods' Eligon
Camille King
Charisse Cardenas
D. Coord
Emmanuel Alleyne
Everyone who wrote Dreams
Gayelle
Glenford Bhagat and Afford Office Line
Greenlight Network
Hakeeb and Joanne Nandalal
Hyacinth Cross
Janine Mendes-Franco
Joanne Allong-Haynes
Kathryn Duncan
Kikipotamus
Kim Kranich
Mala Morton-Gittens
Mark JH Franco
Martin O'Brien
Mike Gutowski
Mrs. Sharma
Mrs. Sloane-Seale
NACC
Nalini Sharma
Nikola Lashley
Nisha Ojar
Nurse Reverly Downes
O'Leo Lokai
Priya Ganess-Nanton
Public donators
Brahma Kumaris/Raj Yoga Centre
Richard Defreitas
Sean Lennard
Sheldon Holder
Tanya Barnes
The Divine
The Trinidad Express/CCN TV6
The women of the Interclub
TTCRC
W.O.U.P.
Wendy Bhagwansingh
YMCA

If there is anyone whose name is not on this list but who has contributed in any way thus far to the Veronica's House initiative, the omission is not intentional. Please consider yourself thanked.

Sincerely,
Elspeth (TT)
Katie (TO)

Yesterday at the Raj Yoga Centre

2008-02-25T07:45:00.001-05:00

Yesterday there was a screening of 'Invisible' at the Raj Yoga Centre in St. Augustine. All efforts to get a projector fell through (I think I need to buy my own) ... so I ended up using a TV, which served the purpose and, at the end of the day, was easier to set up and operate.
A scene from 'Invisible' where Veronica gives her daughter her medication: "She doesn't know that she is HIV positive. All she knows is that she has to take her medication ..." The full 'Invisible' video can be viewed on Trinidad Express TV (online for a few more days, so share the link with friends and associates at home and abroad). Simply click on "Click to view web news" to view.
Those present wrote their dreams and slipped them into the Dream House window lamp at various points throughout the evening. In this photo, Nisha (who was at the launch last Friday and wrote a dream there) got busy writing several more!
Hyacinth Cross, the head 'mummy' at Cyril Ross Nursery, returns to her seat after placing her dream into the Dream House window lamp.
Little call cards with the account number for anyone who wants to make donations to Veronica's House.
Backview of section of the intimate audience of about 25 people ... as they listen to a short talk on HIV/AIDS (definition and other details) given by Nurse Reverly Downes of the QPCC.
Those in attendance included representatives of NGOs and other organisations (invited specifically to see how they could assist with Veronica's House), members of the public who were interested in seeing the film and one or two members of the Raj Yoga Centre, St. Augustine, who kindly gave their space as a venue for the screening. A very worthwhile evening for all.

Where do you think the Dream House should go next? Somewhere indoors, preferably somewhere that lots of people go (but not a bar, in case people spill drinks, etc on it), somewhere that's not too bright - in order for its glow to be evident. Any ideas/suggestions?

Love

2008-02-25T06:55:00.001-05:00

A friend in England sent me an e-mail today. The subject heading of her e-mail was 'Love'.

Her precursor to the link said: "This woman found this lion hurt and about to die. She took him home and took care of him. When the lion was better she called the local zoo. This was the reaction she got when the lion saw her ..." http://www.telestereo.com/Archivos/video.html

This weekend: See the film 'Invisible' on Trinidad Express TV

2008-02-23T21:30:00.002-05:00

One of the illustrations from 'Invisible', used to illustrate bits of Veronica's story as their faces could not be shown.
*

To see the whole 'Invisible' video, please visit http://www.trinidadexpress.com/ and click on the screen at the top of the page that says "Click to view web news". It will be running until Sunday, so don't miss your chance to see it.

Below is a letter I received this evening from Robert Cordner, based in Botswana, after his viewing of 'Invisible' on Trinidad Express TV. (Letter published here with his permission):

I have been privileged to have seen your production on the Trinidad Express website and was moved by this woman’s bravery as well as disgusted that as Trinidad & Tobago citizens we have lost the ability to be empathic about HIV / AIDS in 2008. We have a national vision 2020 which has within it components of what banto people call BOTHO, meaning humanity. If we can fire a woman because of her status and prevent her kids from being educated because of their status, then something is really wrong with our society, and I can now understand why so many social ills exist.

I currently live and work in Botswana , Southern Africa , a country that at one time had the highest HIV/AIDS prevalence in the world. I have lost more friend and acquaintances in the last 10 years in Botswana than I have in a whole life time at home in Trinidad . I have friends that are HIV positive and have known orphans to the disease.

I think that your efforts are in the right direction and will make an attempt to contribute to Veronica’s house. Should you need any information what so ever in terms of program management for HIV / AIDS related intervention strategies, please feel free to contact me.

Regards

Robert Cordner

Link to 'Invisible' video online (so you can see it)

2008-02-22T20:04:00.001-05:00

If you would like to see the 'Invisible' video online, please visit http://www.trinidadexpress.com/ and click on the screen that says "Click to view web news". There you will see the video.

Trinidad Express TV came to the screening on Friday and, after being moved by Veronica's story, they have been offering a lot of support. One of the things which they kindly offered to do is put the video online (I think it is up until Sunday).

Many people have been moved by this cause and many have come forward with offers of assistance (financial and otherwise). What started off as Katie and I working on a video and then highlighting the cause that arose from it is daily blossoming into something which will benefit so many lives - not only those of Veronica and her children. It is also exposing people who are kind, caring, helpful and giving. It is showing a world of hope and love rather than a world of despair.

Thank you on behalf of all involved. (Names will be listed in time).

Screening and Dreaming (an invitation)

2008-02-22T07:52:00.001-05:00

DREAMING

Great news for those of you who missed Friday night's Dream House launch and would like the opportunity to place your dream(s) into the lamp. The Dream House window lamp has moved from Alice Yard and is currently at the Raj Yoga Centre, lower St. John Road, St. Augustine. Feel free to go there at any time of the day or early evening and, once someone is present to open the door for you, please enter. There is a peaceful vibe inside. Spend some quiet time feeling out what you want to say, write your dream and slip it in to the Dream House. (Remember, when the real house is built, our dreams will be placed in a time capsule and buried in the forest, with a tree planted over them).

SCREENING

For those of you who missed the world premiere of the film, 'Invisible', this is an open invitation for you to attend a small but special screening this Sunday at the Raj Yoga Centre. If interested in attending, please contact me by phone (786-2539) by the close of today. I would like to confirm numbers to ensure adequate seating and refreshments.

'Invisible' screening
Date: Sunday 24 February 2008
Time: 5:30 p.m.
Venue: Raj Yoga Centre, lower St. John Road, St. Augustine
Admission: Free

The screening will be followed by a discussion and progress update on 'Veronica's House' and a discussion on the situation in TT involving children living with HIV/AIDS. Audience participation will be encouraged.

Visiting planet Earth

2008-02-21T07:06:00.000-05:00

I had my camera on me all night at the Dream House launch, but ended up only taking these few shots of the capoeira display by Instituto Palmeiras.I don't know what Glen was doing at this moment, but every time I look at this shot it makes me laugh. I showed it to my friend Nisha and she found it looks as though the Dream House (in the background) is a ship that just landed on earth, Chanzo and Maurice (the capoeiristas) are the aliens and Glen is protecting the earthlings from the invasion: "Step back! Don't come any closer! They may be dangerous!"

Risking his life, Glen rushes in to defend the earthlings from the space invaders.

Startled by the sudden movements of the earthling, the aliens spring into defense mode.

But ... wait ... where is Glen?

Have these intergalactic warriors absorbed him in their powerful energy field?

Have they used their cosmic powers to dematerialize him?

Have they assimilated him into their space vessel?
Their celebratory dance hints at some kind of victory.

A hard but necessary thing to do

2008-02-20T07:38:00.002-05:00

Earlier I was upstairs eating breakfast. I came down to find my room festooned with feathers and Jasper sitting on my bed feasting on a small dove (the second he has brought me in two weeks). I darted forward to grab the bird, even though the back half of its body was practically eaten off (open, all the insides outside). As I grabbed it up, I noticed with horror that it was still alive ... eyes half open, body warm, beak open and heaving for breath in my hands.

Despite my horror at the thought, my only choice was to figure out the best way to put it out of its misery.
I used the first heavy thing I saw: a brick in the garden that I had done mosaic artwork on years ago. I put the bird on the earth, closed my eyes and dropped the brick as hard as I could. When I opened my eyes and removed the brick to look, it was still alive ... the head was jerking and twisting as it gasped. I blocked my ears (instinctive reaction to looking at horror). I then quickly took the brick and slammed it with greater force onto the bird. I dug a hole there and buried it, placing one of the few remaining mosaic tiles (which had fallen off with the impact) as its tiny headstone.

R.I.P.

I cannot be angry with Jasper. He is a hunter and gift-bringer and he probably thinks he is treating me. Normally he brings his catches in live and I just release them. On the odd occasion that they are dead, I put them in a bush or bury them (as I did with the dove last week). But this one was a first - having to kill it myself.

I guess the message for today is: If you have to do something, no matter how difficult it seems or feels, just close your eyes, block your ears and get it done.

Or maybe open your eyes, open your ears and do it.

Applicable Love

2008-02-20T06:30:00.001-05:00

Two of the Chookooloonks Love cards arrived yesterday. Both were very applicable.

Words seen backwards because I took the photo using Photobooth.
*

One card was from a blogger called Tammy. The words stamped on the envelope were applicable, especially in light of the recent/current/ongoing project Dream House. DREAM was stamped on the front of the envelope next to my address. On the back of the envelope were stamped the words: LOVE and BELIEVE.

The card itself had the words: Love, inspire, dream, celebrate stamped on the front. Very applicable, since this is what makes it all happen. Without those things I would get nothing done.

Open the card and these words are stamped: XOXO, BELIEVE, HUGS.

Then: Love is a journey, not a destination.

True.

The other card, from a blogger called Jenny, had a Japanese design to the front and the Japanese symbol for the word 'Love'. The back contained the "I will greet this day ..." quote by Og Mandino, who seems to be a fascinating character. I'm going to read up more on him.

I Will Greet this Day

"I will greet this day with love in my heart. And how will I do this? Henceforth will I look on all things with love and be born again. I will love the sun for it warms my bones; yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit.

I will love the light for it shows me the way; yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars. I will welcome happiness as it enlarges my heart; yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul. I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.

To do anything truly worth doing, I must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in with gusto and scramble through as well as I can."

~ Og Mandino (1923 - 1996)

(The last paragraph wasn't on the card, but it was on this version of the quote that I found ... and I'll leave it since it's applicable).

(Some) Dream House photos from launch night

2008-02-19T08:39:00.002-05:00

Many thanks to photographer Agusto Murrillo for taking the photos on Dream House launch night.Before it all began, the Dream House was covered in a large sheet. The projector (for projecting the film later in the night) is positioned before it.

The Dream House unveiled.

Explaining the Dream House to those in attendance. Pointing to the heart-shaped foundation stone in the centre, from which the deepest and most wordless prayer emanates ... swirling out and up to be received and answered. The Cosmic Web, which pulls everything together sits in the centre (like a dream catcher) around the heart stone.

One of the many who wrote their dreams on the coloured squares of paper. N.B. Purple gift bag on ground, containing the coloured squares. The colours were all colours of the rainbow, as well as black, brown, pink and white.

Another one of the many dreamers: my nephew, no doubt about to write down something about getting a new video game.

One of the many who slipped their dreams into the slot at the side of the Dream House. I love the image of someone wearing a tie, coming from a long corporate, city workday, writing down his heartfelt dream and believing in it as it slips into the Light.

I had written the contractor's estimate on large pieces of brown paper and stuck it on the walls of the room in which the Dream House was ... so people could see what materials are required.

With my nephew, as we all watched the film 'Invisible', projected onto the back of the Dream House lamp.

With Katie after the film as we addressed those present. She spoke about the cause (Veronica and her children, their situation, how/why we were moved to build the house for them and what needs to be done) and then there were suggestions and questions from people in the crowd.

After our speech explaining the cause, many people came and gave suggestions, offered assistance, etc. Here Nic's dad gives advice on how to raise money for demolition and backfill (which, the day after the launch, someone offered to do for free). Hooray for generosity.

I will put other photos from the event on Flickr some time later and will let you know.

What the Dream House was/is for: building dreams and a real house

2008-02-18T11:06:00.004-05:00

Where it all began.
*

Some time early this week I will receive the photos of Dream House launch night from the photographer. Rather than wait until then to explain what the making of this lamp was all about, I will do so now (and post photos later).

As described early on, the lamp is a three dimensional prayer. "For what?" you must be asking.

In order to explain, let me take you through basic steps of what happened on the night of the Dream House launch.

Prior to the launch, I asked those from abroad who had signed up for the Dream House International list to write their dreams (waking dreams, not sleeping ones) and e-mail them to me so that I could act on their behalf on the night.

REMEMBER THE LINE I HAD ON THE INVITATION: When dreams come true, lives change. Mine. Yours. Theirs.

OUR DREAMS TO MANIFEST
On the night, I unveiled the lit Dream House to an appreciative, applausive (if there's such a word) crowd. You will see the photos eventually, but basically the lamp itself is like a small house. To the side of the 'house' there is a slit in the wall into which everyone's dreams, written on squares of paper (all colours of the rainbow) were 'posted'. The international dreams went in first (I slipped them in for those who could not be there); then I wrote mine and slipped it in; then, for the rest of the night, people from the crowd came, sat in front of the lamplight, thought about what they wanted to say, wrote their dreams, posted them, etc. It was a great vibe. It was even possible to see some of the dream paper fluttering past the window (behind the artwork) to join the other dreams ... all of them now in the Light.

THEIR DREAMS TO MANIFEST
Later in the night (after the unveiling), I turned the lamp around so that its back was facing the crowd. The back is flat and white, about 4 ft x 3 ft. This surface I used as a screen to project the mini documentary I had worked on late last year (INVISIBLE: Children living with HIV/AIDS) - which I did as a job for TTCRC (TT Coalition for the Convention on the Rights of the Child). The film, which turned out to be extremely moving and powerful, had the audience silenced ... especially at the end when one learns what happened to Veronica and her children subsequent to the interview/filming. Stigma and discrimination are a disease in their own right.

The following is a blurb from a letter Katie, my production assistant on the film (who is now back in Toronto as of Sunday) and I have been using to gather support:

This mini-documentary aims to raise awareness of children living with HIV/AIDS through the story of one mother, Veronica, and her two children. As a result of HIV/AIDS-related stigma, Veronica and her children are presently homeless. This critical situation is taking a heavy toll on the health of Veronica and her young daughter, who are both living with HIV. The film is being screened in order to gather support for the construction of ‘Veronica’s House’ – a new home and new hope for this family.

***
The film being projected onto the Dream House (lamp) is a projection of the dream of Veronica and her children - to have a home for themselves. It is supported by the energy of everyone else's dreams within the lamp. Similarly, the collective dreams within represent the collective energy of those people who come together to make this real house possible. Hence Dream House has two meanings - a house full of dreams (many people's dreams) and a dream house for a family in need.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE DREAM HOUSE (LAMP)?
The Dream House lamp will move around to different places and people will continue to place their dreams into it ... until the day that Veronica and her children step into their newly constructed home. Then the lamp will be opened (the roof has a lock on it), the dreams removed (unread) and placed in a vessel (time capsule concept). This will be buried deep in the forest and a tree planted over it (exact vessel, forest and kind of tree to be determined).

IN THE MEAN TIME ...
Things have been unfolding in great ways. So far we have generous donations of materials toward the house and a contractor who is willing to do a lot of work and offer so much for the cause. Much more still has to be acquired and more has to happen, but undoubtedly it will. There is a bank account to which members of the public who are willing to assist can donate whatever is possible. Cash and kind are welcome. If you are moved to assist in any way, please do not hesitate to contact me.

I will supply this information (account, etc.) in another post to keep it simple and clear. I will also provide updates on the progress of the construction as everything unfolds and takes shape.

So this is what inspired Dream House ... the desire/need to build a house for Veronica and her children. We felt it was impossible to work on the video, to meet this little family and see what happened to them as a result of stigma ... and not do anything more to assist their situation.

And in terms of the lamp, it has a life of its own. So much more has come, is coming and will come from it.

Thank you to all, both seen and unseen, who have been and will be a part of this construction (in whatever ways possible).

A great Dream House launch

2008-02-16T23:12:00.001-05:00

Thank you to everyone who attended the Dream House launch (in person and in spirit) on Friday night. It was really a fantastic, magical night, full of dreams, hope, Love, interaction, good vibes. The 'Love is Green' event, which also took place that night, enhanced the mood and entertained even further. Great people in the crowd, great energies.

A visiting photographer (Agusto, Nic's friend) took professional photos of the Dream House. We had gone the night before to set up the lamp and he came along with me to do some shooting of it (minus the people who would be there next night at the launch). When I saw the images on his camera screen I was totally blown away. Such a difference between me taking the photos myself ... and what he did, which is pure artistry in itself, with specific lighting to enhance the beauty of the piece ... making it look to me like something displayed on a blue moon. All it was missing was white mist (a la fog machine) swirling around its base. Ethereal, dreamlike, mesmerising, compelling, otherworldly, a Light presence. As soon as those photos are ready, I will post them so that you can see the lamp (Dream House) which really ended up looking and feeling great - not only in A's photos, but in real life. At the moment that I unveiled it on the night (pulled off the large sheet that covered it) ... all I remember is hearing complete silence, then a gasp from the crowd, then clapping. Then everything began .. the first purpose, which was ongoing throughout the night (and will be even after) ... followed by the second purpose, later in the night (also to be ongoing).

As the invitation said: When dreams come true, lives change. Mine. Yours. Theirs.

Official photos, an account of what happened on the night and details of what it was all for coming soon. Stay tuned.

Love is Green

2008-02-15T03:31:00.001-05:00

People who have never been to 'The Yard' are not sure how to get there. It's easy. If coming from Ariapita, head northward up Murray Street, Woodbrook (landmark: Jacqueline's Bakery at the corner) until you get to the park on your right. At top of park, Roberts intersects Murray. Turn left and 'The Yard' is about the second on the left from the corner. You can't miss it. Parking on both sides of road.

If coming from Tragarete Road side, head southward down Murray and take first right at corner of park.

The Dream House and the film will be happening under the umbrella of Greenlight Network's 'Love is Green' event. Even though the two are 'separate' they fit together for various reasons.

See you later (those who are coming).

Give back to your heart

2008-02-14T06:02:00.000-05:00

Two days ago I got my first card in the Chookooloonks Love Card Swap. Thanks, "Sweet Melissa".

The front of the card had a little red glitter heart in each corner and this poem by Derek Walcott.
*

LOVE AFTER LOVE

Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

And say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back to your heart
To itself, to the stranger who has loved you

All your life, whom you ignored
For another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

The photographs, the desperate notes,
Peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Continuing

2008-02-13T06:27:00.000-05:00

Part of the Cosmic Web
*

Work continues on the lamp. It is an extremely simple piece (unlike the earlier lamps) ... yet somehow a lot has been (and has to be) put into it (in more ways than one). It will be ready for Thursday evening, when it will be transported to its location.

I will not mention it again until after Friday's launch, when I will give an official account of what it was all about.

The Invitation

2008-02-11T05:46:00.000-05:00

Please click on invite to open it up bigger, save it and/or forward to friends as an e-mail attachment.

Come and bring friends.
The more people the more power.
The dual purpose of the lamp (and the lamp itself) will be revealed on the night.
*
International participants who have contacted me to be on the International Dream House list, you will be given details and information separately, so as not to 'spoil' it for those who are here.
*
Thanks.

Elspeth

Window Lamp Retrospective

2008-02-09T05:47:00.000-05:00

Before moving ahead, let's take a look at a few of the earlier window lamps (there are more, in various houses, with various owners ... but unfortunately I don't have/didn't take photos of them). Most of these lamps were interactive in different ways and each one was designed for a specific purpose. The DREAM HOUSE is different from these earlier ones in structure, purpose and type of interaction. And whereas the earlier lamps feature translucent artwork on their panes (each pane being a canvas telling a different symbolic story), the panes of the DREAM HOUSE remain clear, with no artwork on them.

SOMNIUM

(designed to alleviate the insomnia of the J.H., who acquired it):
Oh Light that vibrates to the sound of Om, I have come seeking peace in the humble Temple of my Self. My purpose now is to sleep and dream, because what I dream is an important prerequisite to the order of things.
THE LOVE WINDOW LAMP
(Owned by me).
DREAMING GOD
Detail: one of the four panes
Designed for deeper dreaming. Was owned by me.
Is God dreaming us or are we dreaming God?

A range of lamps I had made for the launch of my INFINITE CD. Each lamp was inspired by (and named after) the title of the songs on the album. Here they are in the annex of the National Museum where I put on a small solo concert for the launch.

BELOVED
(One of the songs from the album)
BELOVED (detail: top pane)
LEVITY FOR GRAVITY (and Vice Versa)
One of the songs from the INFINITE album.
AS I AM, YOU ARE
(One of the songs on the album).
Photo shows guest at INFINITE launch studying the lamp, now owned by A.H. of Quest Bookstore.
FEEL IT NOW
Not a lamp (since it was not designed for light to pass through it).
Created for an event (the launch of a friend's single - a song of the same name).

I AM
(Designed to eliminate fear):

All of a sudden the moment became impulsive. It grabbed you and pulled you through the door that led to Somewhere. Afraid of not knowing, you held back from flowing, but the moment would not be ignored. "Fear not," it said, pulling you further. "Relax as I hold you, I am here to unfold you. Open and find who you are."

The I AM lamp was used as the 'backdrop' in the popular 10 Sisters shows ... and was used in the design of the 10 Sisters album cover (see two below photos from album cover). The lamp is now owned by the producers of the show.

DIVA

The interactive lamp that had lived up to her name ... had everyone adoring her, writing poetry and short stories in her honour and reading them to her. She started off the whole online documentation of window lamps, had people video taping her progress, had us gathering in Quest bookstore to have readings and refreshments (her launch). Commissioned and now owned by G.H. (aka 'girlwithawindow')

SERENDIPITY
(Designed to attract happy chance meetings and unexpected finds)
Commissioned by A.H. and now owned by I. and P.
Serendipity was also interactive: video and dinner-for-six launch (in the studio I had at the time in CCA7).

Table set for six in my studio. Waiting for the guests to arrive and dine on my sumtpuous lasagne. Little did two of the guests know ... the lamp had been commissioned for them by a friend in the States ... and they would be be going home with it that night.
Serendipity in the corner of my studio at night.
TV for viewing the 'Serendipity video' after in-studio dinner.

ENCHANTED FOREST
(Designed to attract new 'space' = yoga studio for KB)
Interactive meditative window lamp, designed with different things to do to lead the participant on a journey to his/her centre and calm the spirit. Commissioned and owned by K.B.

SOUL WINDOW
aka Window to My Soul (Mate)
Detail: first pane
Name speaks for itself.
Now owned by K.W. and family in Texas.
*
*
Other lamps have included:
Mysteries of the Universe
Twilight Door
Healing Hearts
... and others which I can't remember right now ...

Dream House

2008-02-08T04:47:00.000-05:00

(Photo shows interior of house in the early days of construction)

Window of Opportunity
Door to New Beginnings
Room for Possibilities
Foundation of Love
Roof of Protection
Walls of Strength
*
*
*

This lamp, DREAM HOUSE, has a double meaning and dual purpose ... both to be revealed next week. Further details and invitation to come ... but I'll tell you ahead of time, keep Friday 15th February 2008 from 8 - 11 p.m. open.

Those who live abroad and will not be able to be physically present on that date ... you can still be involved from where you are. If interested in participating, simply click on 'E-mail me' in the side bar (nowiswowisnow at yahoo dot com) and send me a note indicating that you would like to participate. I will e-mail you early next week and explain to you what you would have to do - at least for one phase.

******

P.S. A friend of mine in London just wrote and told me that she would not be able to do it because of the time difference. If applicable, international people (England, Australia, Spain, etc.), you do not need to worry about this (time difference). What you will be doing will happen even before the 15th and be sent to me ... and on the night itself I will act in your behalf.

Foundation Stone

2008-02-07T05:54:00.000-05:00

This was one of the multitude of heart-shaped rocks I found over the 5-day Toco weekend. Of all of them, it had a special energy to it. Before leaving Toco, I returned all the hearts to the sea but kept this one because I felt it would be the perfect first stone for a foundation built on and with Love.

Foundation stone ... the first stone set in the construction of a masonry foundation, important since all other stones will be set in reference to this stone, thus determining the position of the entire edifice .

Since foundation stones have to do with construction and buildings, you may be wondering what this one has to do with the window lamp. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm .... you will find out soon.

TOMORROW: The official name of this Window Lamp.

Working quietly with the Universe

2008-01-30T05:07:00.000-05:00

Universal Undercoat ... for painting the Universe (and the lamp)
*

After today, there will be no more online updates on the window lamp until the Thursday after Carnival. (But don't be surprised if some of you get updates in your dreams). The seven days away from the online updates will allow you to review the lamp's journey in a leisurely way and ruminate on what everything has meant to you so far. Meanwhile, behind the scenes I will continue to work quietly on the piece until Friday 1st February, after which I will cease for five days.

Before the crack of dawn on Saturday 2nd, I will leave and go to Toco (without the lamp) until Ash Wednesday ... for a silent retreat (my third). Many of my friends (even those who talk alot), when they hear about the experience, say they would like to try it (the silence) - and one of them is actually going to come this time. I told her she would not regret a moment of it. I love the location (perched aloft on the edge of the coast), no burglar proofing (sleeping with the fresh wind and sound of the sea blasting through open doors and windows), the food (healthy, scrumptious vegetarian banquets cooked by some women from the area), the silence (after the extended silence I wonder why we even bother to use words), the deep restfulness and relaxation (much needed), the water (steps lead down to the lovely private cove), the nothing-to-do-all-day but sleep, read, write, walk, swim, be in nature, meditate, explore (internally and externally), eat, think, not think ...

One comment left on yesterday's post asks of the lamp: "Well. What will this BECOME? I know... be patient." So true. Patience ... that necessary bridge across the time of 'waiting' for the mystery to unfold. Take a look at the below photo of the glimmering spider's web which was being built on a branch above the window when it was under the sapodilla tree. I noticed it the evening I did the smoke ceremony. Until we meet again, keep this image in mind and envision the Universe as an infinite web within which the large Cosmic Spider masterfully pulls everything together as it must be.

Many hands. Lightwork. (with video)

2008-01-29T04:12:00.000-05:00

My friend Glen, measuring a piece of wood in his factory workshop.
*

At this point I must say thank you to those of you who have been keeping up with these window lamp updates. Any interest and energy you are putting toward the lamp-work process so far is helping it all to happen. This is the kind of project (as you will see in the end) that not only one person can do. Many people will have to come together, physically and otherwise, to make it really happen. This is what I am inviting you to be a part of.

(Don't mean to sound like I'm receiving an Academy Award, but ...) A special thank you also to my friend Glen who, when I took the window to his workshop and decided upon the way in which it should be constructed further, immediately set to work on helping me achieve that vision. He had other important work to do, but he put it aside to help me with the construction. Even when I said: "Look, we can do this tomorrow you know" ... he said: "No. I would rather do it now."

Now is Wow, after all.

The short video below shows what is becoming of this window. You will begin to see it taking its new shape. A few people (in TT) have contacted me to say that they are having trouble viewing the videos (due to slow internet or other issues). That's a pity. I really wish you could see the clips, especially this one, as the window undergoes transformation. I have kept all clips as short as possible to make it easier for you ... so be patient, let it load while you do something else on your computer, then go back to it and view smoothly.

Divine Timing

2008-01-28T04:50:00.000-05:00

Before I knew what this lamp was for, I was going to name it Kairos, which is my new favourite word, with its beautiful meaning.

There are two kinds of time: Chronos and Kairos.

Chronos is chronological time, the world's time, deadlines, dates, appointments, calendars, clocks, seconds, minutes, hours, days, years ... etc.

Kairos, simply put, is Divine time/timing. It cannot be measured.

In my reading on Kairos, I gathered and distilled certain definitions which I have put below for you to get a quick overview. But if/when you have or make time (i.e. chronos time), check out this great pdf document entitled "Time measured by Kronos and Kairos"; Mark Freir (2006).

The day I realised what the lamp was for, I changed its name (to be revealed soon). However, it remains Kairos in spirit, since everything about it is happening with Divine timing and purpose.

*
KAIROS
Some distilled definitions.

1. The quintessential moment that must be seized or acted within in order to achieve a desired result.

2. The discrete moment in which an act is done that decides the outcome of a matter.

3. The God-given moment of destiny, not to be shrunk from, but seized with decisiveness.

4. The moment of turn-around, of change and of building bridges.

5. Moment in time when opposites meet and contradiction evaporates.

6. An undetermined period of time in which "something" special happens.

7. The window of divine opportunity. The transformative moment.

Sources:

Wikipedia
The Matter of Time.
The Greening
Kairoslife
Kairos - The Spirit of Time

Working like a dog (video clip)

2008-01-27T14:15:00.000-05:00

Making wire flowers with the dogs ... and an extra little guest.

Things you wanted to know but may have been afraid to ask

2008-01-26T08:37:00.000-05:00

A friend contacted me last night and told me that she was not getting the whole window lamp thing. I was glad she mentioned this, since it made me realise that there may be others who are also not understanding what is unfolding. Maybe confusion comes when you try to understand what I (Elspeth) mean it to be ... rather than what you (_______) perceive it to be. Neither way is right or wrong. We just see things in life through different lenses sometimes.

Imagine each person in the world looking at a dot and just seeing a dot and nothing else. Rorschach would go out of business. Life is more interesting when some people see it as a dot, some see it as a coin, some see it as a peephole through the paper into another world, some see it as the footprint of Thumbelina with a wooden leg ... and then when we come together and say what we see and ... "Wow, I didn't see it like that until you showed me." (... and vice versa).

When the final thing is revealed,
we will all know clearly what it is and what it is for.

I'm not one of those creative people who feels insulted if someone doesn't understand what I'm doing ... especially since sometimes even I don't understand (until I do). And I don't think any question is 'stupid'. In fact I prefer when people have questions and bring them out. It means they are feeling or thinking about something ... and after our exchange, we both come away with wider vision and a greater understanding of not only the thing, but of each other.

S(m)oothing the Situation (with video)

2008-01-25T04:30:00.000-05:00

Length: 36 seconds
Location: My friend Glens factory workshop

Press play and you will see the video. Press numbers in a certain combination and you will make a phone call to a particular person. Turn the right key in the right lock and you will open the right door. This is what I feel happens when I work on a window lamp. Each thing I do to it is like pressing a button to activate something similar which happens on a larger plane and another dimension.

For example, in the video, clip, I appear to simply be smoothing the rough surface of the window. However, this is symbolic of a larger occurrence. I trust that the rough aspect of a particular situation (to be revealed) which requires resolution is also being worked upon ... in ways that cannot yet be seen.
This is why I often call the window lamps 'three dimensional prayers'. The creation of each lamp is a series of visual intentions occurring in sequence to bring about a desired result. Sometimes the full intention is deep in the subconscious and I am not immediately aware of it - until, by going with the flow, I see the deeper meaning gradually unfolding before me. And sometimes the intention is very clear and focused, as with this lamp. There is no question for me as to what this lamp is about ... and yet, I still leave room for possibilities ... knowing that nothing is ever just what it appears to be on the surface. The lamp may be about even more than I think it is.

Intimation

2008-01-24T04:32:00.000-05:00

I sat
At your feet
And listened to you.
You spoke in the wind
And the leaves rustling.

There, with birds and time passing,
I came to understand:

You are bigger than this.
You embrace wide spaces.
You hold life within you.
You are home.
*
Tomorrow we will go inside and the physical transformation will begin.

Smoke Ceremony (with video clip)

2008-01-23T11:52:00.000-05:00

Late one afternoon, just before sunset, I went under the sapodilla tree, lit two sticks of Chandan incense and sat in front of the window playing my thumb piano. I was hoping for inspiration, since at the time, I didn't know what the window would be for. A short video clip capturing a snippet of that evening makes me think of an indigenous smoke ceremony ... for cleansing, healing and giving thanks. It is necessary to do that before we move forward with this project (or with anything for that matter ...)

We clear away what is no longer needed.
We invite what is.
We give thanks.

(Below video is only 38 seconds. Press PLAY to cleanse, heal and give thanks before we proceed).

A Divine Window (Lamp) of Opportunity

2008-01-22T04:51:00.000-05:00

Last year I had said that The Soul Window (a.k.a. 'Window to my Soul (mate)') would be the last window lamp I would ever make ... but this has turned out to not be so. For those of you who don't know, for about a decade I have been making lamps out of the old windows of houses (I call them 'window lamps'). (You can read more about how I started making these lamps HERE). Hard to explain, but these are never just "lamps". I refer to them as 'three dimensional prayers'. Each window has a specific energy and purpose which, at some point in time, calls out to be manifested on the material plane. (Like us). That is how I've always felt it to be. The process of making each lamp is unique to that window and is an interactive healing process and experience on many levels (not just the physical) - for me, the recipient and those who follow the online documentation of the creative process. (In 2006 I started recording the process of the newer lamps online through words, photos, video and audio).

While walking early one morning about two weeks ago, I got the strong feeling to make a new window lamp, but I dismissed it because I had said I wasn't making any more. Then a particular phone call that very morning confirmed that I must. (That is just to show how the Energy and Spirit part of the window lamp process works). Luckily I had an old window stored under the house. So I immediately went and took it out, took it to the bottom of the garden and placed it under the sapodilla tree, where I washed it. The washing of a window is an important part of the creative process (it is a cleansing on many levels) ... and each window is washed in its own special way - in the sea, in a river, under a tap, with a hose ... etc. depending on the feeling I get for that particular window. (e.g. See here for photos/written account of the washing of one window, which became the lamp named "Serendipity").
Anyway, about the old window under the sapodilla tree. I felt strongly that I was being guided to make it into a lamp soon ... but I had no idea who it would be for. Then, very early yesterday morning as I sat quietly under a tree after my walk, it struck me with amazing clarity who and what this window was all about.

Soon I will reveal the name of the lamp and its important purpose. Please stay tuned. This is a very important lamp and your participation in this particular process will be invaluable and life-changing.

Thanks.

Elspeth

(As with the other window lamps, I will record the creative process/evolution here on the blog).

The Very Day of Love

2008-01-21T05:38:00.000-05:00

Chookooloonks has spearheaded another postcard swap. Last time the theme was Beginnings. This time it is ‘Love’ (since Valentine’s Day is approaching). I made my cards on Friday evening. I will post them today so they'll reach to their destinations ‘on time’. By ‘on time’ I don’t mean for V-as-in-Valentine’s Day specifically. In this case, V-Day can stand for "Very Day". Each card will arrive on the Very Day it is meant to be received by that person.

Speaking of love and postcards … when I was leaving St. Lucia, I got to the airport a bit early. To pass my time, I went across to the beach and bought two of those little smoke herring and bakes and sat by the water eating them. I then returned to the airport and spent my remaining small change on a postcard and some stamps. The card featured two dolphins leaping together out of the ocean. It was so beautiful, I wondered who I could send it to. On the back I wrote: “Dear Elspeth …”. I can’t remember my exact words now, but basically I wrote a short love letter to myself, signed it: “Love, Elspeth”, addressed it to myself, stuck on the stamps and dropped it in the little airport post box.

I’ve been back in TT over two weeks and the card, which should have arrived by now, has not. Maybe it will come on the Very Day.

Well Being(s)

2008-01-20T05:53:00.000-05:00

We want to find ways to convince you that the Well-being that you've been asking for is being answered. Your wish is granted. Now it's time for you to start accepting that it is done.”

Abraham-Hicks

Going with the Flow

2008-01-19T16:34:00.000-05:00

The Flow people left a while ago. I have signed up with them for my internet and can once again enjoy wireless in the comfort of my room or wherever else I go in the house. I also like the name/meaning of "Flow" - in terms of life, energy, etc.

I will not be going with TSTT's internet service again. Every time my phone is down (which is too often for my liking), I lose internet service. It is inconvenient, especially as the phone can be down for weeks or months at a time (aka "3 - 5 working days"). At least with Flow (cable) I'm not dependent on the phone line.

My phone is still not working. In the past I would call TSTT at least twice a day to make reports or follow up, holding on to the line, getting angrier and more frustrated as time ticked by. I would also write letters to the TSTT superiors, hoping to get (but not getting) swifter action on the issue. But ... I have changed for 2008. I am (becoming) more patient and I am more open to a different sense of timing in general.

Since being back from St. Lucia (2 January) and finding a dead phone, I have made only two reports in total. And, rather than call, I went in physically to the TSTT office since that seems to take less time than calling 824-TSTT and waiting for someone to answer.

While it would be good to have my land phone back (so I don't have to keep running up cellular bills), I do not feel as ruffled and inconvenienced by its absence as I would have in the past. In fact, a few simple things I have done have contributed to a less frustrating and angering Trinidad for me:

1. I no longer read the papers
2. I do not allow the lack of TT service to ruffle me
3. I spend less time on the roads, only going out when I have to or really want to

Meeting bloggers for the first time

2008-01-18T10:20:00.000-05:00

(Update: ironically this week's Sunday Scribblings is 'Fellow Travelers')

Today on her blog, one of Kikipotamus's meme answers was her post about the time we first met when I was in Toronto in May 2007. It made my heart feel warm and brought back such fond memories ... of not only a great six weeks in TO, but that great day of unfolding surprises and magic around every corner.

It is funny how in this modern age the internet is bringing together people who may never have met otherwise.

Yesterday I met the blogger Andreamuse for the first time. I think I first encountered her when she left a comment on my blog. She is a writer from Florida who had been seeking Trinidadian blogs because she and her husband were moving to Trinidad, where he would be lecturing at the University. What a small world. Last week when they moved here, the world got even smaller. Turns out she is living about fifteen minutes walk from me in St. Augustine! What are the odds of that?

I took her up to Mount St. Benedict, where we looked around for a while (the view, etc.) then sat under a cool tree eating snacks and chatting. It was great little interlude in my day ... not only because I was meeting her, but also because I was 'escaping' from writing a proposal which had me feeling agitated because I'm one of those I-wish-I-could-just-do-the-creative-part-and-let-someone-else-write-proposals-and-budgets kind of people.

Had to cut short the session on the Mount with Andreamuse to go to my appointment for a wellness massage (birthday gift voucher given to me by my parents last October). But we will meet again. Welcome to Trinidad, Andrea. I hope you find inspiration.

A second before (video)

2008-01-17T08:55:00.000-05:00

Length: 32 seconds
Location: La Vega Estate, Trinidad
Shot on: Video function of digital still camera
*
Shadows shift in the sun
Lightly
Naturally
Effortlessly
Changing
Releasing themselves
Never to be again
As they were
Before.

So why ...
Do we stay there in
What we thought
What we were
What we felt
What we did
What we said
A second ago?

You are what you eat

2008-01-16T09:27:00.000-05:00

Over the weekend I went to a friend's house to visit and have lunch. At one point we were standing at opposite ends of the room, chatting across the floor. "Oh, here!" she said suddenly, tossing a brown thing to me. It was the heart-shaped potato featured in these photos. She then gave me a heart-shaped rock and said she couldn't think of anything else to give me for Christmas (belated gifts).

She told me that she had been having a dinner the other night and the guests were all around, helping. She had dipped into the bag of potatoes to make some aloo and her hand pulled out the heart-shaped spud. She immediately thought of me (I guess because I'm always finding heart-shaped things in nature) and quickly hid it, before anyone else saw it and added it to the pot.

Last night I boiled it in its skin (to keep the heart whole) and, when it was done, sliced it into four, spread cottage cheese on each segment and sprinkled black pepper on the cottage cheese. I then ate it for dinner.

The date: 8th January 2001

2008-01-15T20:58:00.000-05:00

Just a few days ago I realised that I had missed an important and life-changing date. The 8th of January 2008 marks 7 years since I miraculously woke up and stopped smoking and drinking alcohol and coffee. Never looked back and never got cravings. I believe it was yoga that did it.

Jan 8th 2005 is the day I started this blog ... partly out of curiosity and partly out of doing something to celebrate my miraculous anniversary. So I am now entering my 4th year of blogging!

Jan 8th 2005 on this blog.

Jan 8th 2007 - celebrating my anniversary of two things.

This week's Sunday Scribblings is "The Date"

I'm back

2008-01-15T10:16:00.000-05:00

I got Satya back the next day with everything intact. It was an odd thing that happened - a CD I had put in her drive did not show up on the desktop and when I tried to eject, it would not budge. I restarted and was met with a frightening, white screen and no little apple indicating that Satya was booting up. To cut a long story short, the people at the mac place opened up Satya, got the CD out and Sat was working again. What a relief!

But ... I still decided to take a few days away from internet on the whole and it was good. Didn't go on at all. Spent time being quiet, spent time in nature, spent time tuning in. Would still not have been on were it not for clients sending e-mails which I needed to look at.

Rainbow seen on drive back from La Vega with Gab the other day.

Until further notice ... use telepathy

2008-01-10T15:35:00.000-05:00

My footsteps, Toco
*

Dear All,

I will be taking a break from technology for an indefinite period of time. Satya, my laptop, is currently being diagnosed (an unexpected ailment). Thankfully her hard drive is intact but the exact nature of the problem is not yet clear. Please send her good vibes as the experts examine and work on her.

In her absence I don't think I will be going to internet cafes, etc. to update my blog, check e-mail, etc. I've already told my clients and my friends who e-mail me regularly that if they need me they should call me or use telepathy.

With my home phone also not working and TSTT nowhere in sight, my only form of man-made communication is the cellular phone. And even that ... lately some people are calling and not getting through - and when they leave voice mail messages, I am getting them a day or two later, if at all. So, unless you are telepathic, reaching me may not be as easy as it usually is.

I see this as the Universe's way of telling me to not depend on man-made forms of communication for now and to use the time to tune in more deeply and regularly to communication with my Self and the Divine. This must all be a part of the Universe's 2008 plan to get me to trust it more.

While I enjoy blogging daily and will miss it, being without technology can be freeing and enlightening. It is interesting to note what we focus on, return to and rediscover when we go 'back to nature'.

Not sure exactly when I will be back but I will be.

Take care and enjoy your experiences.

Elspeth

3rd song in my 2008 soundtrack

2008-01-09T10:23:00.001-05:00

Love, thy will be done
I can no longer hide
I can no longer run
No longer can I resist the guiding light
It gives me the power to keep up the fight
Love...thy will be done
Since I have found you my life has just begun
And I see all of your creations as one
Perfect complex
No one less beautiful or more special than the next
We are all blessed and so wise to accept
Thy will love be done

Love, thy will be mine
And make me strive for the glorious and divine
I could not be more, more satisfied (satisfied�)
Even when there's no peace outside my window
There's peace inside
And that's why I no longer run (I don�t know�)
Love thy will be done

Love, thy will be done
I can no longer hide
I can no longer run (no�.)
Love, thy will be done
Thy will love be done

No longer can I resist (no..) the guiding light (guiding light)
The light that gives me the power to keep up the fight
I couldn�t be more satisfied (no�)
Even when there's no peace outside my window
There's peace inside
And that's why I can not longer run
Love thy will be done (thy will be done, done, done�)

Love, thy will be done
I can no longer hide
I can no longer run
Love, thy will be done
Thy will love be done

Love, thy will be done
I can no longer hide
I can no longer run (no, no, no)
Love, thy will be done
Thy will love be done�
Thy will love be done�
Thy will love be done

2nd song in my 2008 soundtrack

2008-01-08T08:51:00.001-05:00

"Big Time Sensuality"

i can sense it
something important
is about to happen
it's coming up

it takes courage to enjoy it
the hardcore and the gentle
big time sensuality

we just met
and i know i'm a bit too intimate
but something huge is coming up
and we're both included

it takes courage to enjoy it
the hardcore and the gentle
big time sensuality

i don't know my future after this weekend
and i don't want to

it takes courage to enjoy it
the hardcore and the gentle
big time sensuality

First of 12 songs in my soundtrack for 2008

2008-01-07T09:54:00.001-05:00

Now and then a song comes along which I can't help but play repeatedly - for days, weeks, possibly even months (mostly in the case of a whole CD) ... until my mood/vibration changes and requires a new soundtrack to accompany it.Above: singing and bopping to my January 2008 theme song. I love it: the words, sentiments, beat, melody, energy. Yesterday I must have played it hundreds of times for the day alone - and today will be similar. It speaks on so many levels, the way I see it: not just as one lover to another, but as self to self and the Divine to the human/vice versa.

Timely messages from the Labyrinth Angels

2008-01-06T07:48:00.000-05:00

Went on a spontaneous jaunt with my friend Nisha to the Holy Trinity labyrinth yesterday. As we stood in the centre, we thought of Sally-in-Canada and decided to send some angelic messages for her ... and by extension, everyone who reads this.

This year contains limitless opportunities for happiness.
Be open to fully embracing, enjoying and experiencing those opportunities.
Fear not!
Keep looking up!
The sun is up
The stars are up
The moon is up
The clouds are up
The sky is up
We are up

We live in a gentle Universe.
All is well and as it should be.

Toco shadows (with haikus)

2008-01-05T08:16:00.000-05:00

Paula (left), me (middle), Carol (right)

Stretching my body
Pulling down the sea curtain
Giving us some shade

Walking the tightrope
Fine line between sea and sand
Between shadow sun

“Where is her body?”

My levitating shadow
Asks of the ocean