Do not ignore

Lately I have been ignoring my inner voice. This throws me off balance and can make me feel horrible and confused ... to know that something I felt/sensed was true and I did not pay attention to it.

Today after I woke up and meditated, I said a little prayer that I would increasingly be able to hear the guidance and that I will trust it again. I asked for a sign to let me know.

I was going walking for papers and decided to go for the longer walk around the University, which I have not done in a while. As I walked, a strident thought came out of nowhere: "I will find a puppy now."

As I neared the exact spot where I had found Rainbow earlier this year, a cute brown puppy wearing a blue collar appeared. It gamboled around the legs of a man who was strolling by, but he was ignoring it. I asked him if it was his and he said no. I asked two other people (a guard and a cleaner) nearby and they had no idea who it belonged to or where it had come from. I deduced that it must have been terrified by the recent spate of thunder and had fled from its home, as many dogs do.

The pup was frisking around so close to the cars on the mainroad ... and I didn't want to return from my walk and see it crushed. I told the cleaner I would take the pup home, take some photos of it, make flyers and stick them around ... and hopefully the owner would be see them and contact me.

The cleaner said: "Yes, do dat. Dat ent no pothong, yuh know! Dat is ah good breed!"

I told her that doesn't make a difference. Trinis feel that you should only put effort into saving or owning a dog if it is 'a breed'. Just like how people referred to Rainbow as 'only a street pigeon'. That doesn't make her less than a pigeon sold in pet shops. To make the point: can pigeons in petshops play the thumb piano and sing the way Rainbow did?

Anyway, I left the pup playing with the cleaner and the guard and continued on my walk, intending to pick it up on my way back. Upon my return, the pup was not there.

"Where is it?" I asked the cleaner.

"Me eh know. It was playing an' I turn my back an' it gone."

Another guard standing nearby said: "Dat was your dog?"

I told him it wasn't, but that I was going to take it home so it would be safe, make flyers, try and find the owner, etc.

He said: "Well a man came jes now and take it. It mus' be he own."

I walked off, thinking about how the puppy had 'appeared' and 'disappeared' ... and it suddenly occurred to me that the puppy was a sign. It was as if it had been put there ... not for me to rescue and take home ... but simply to remind me that when my inner voice speaks loudly, I can trust it.

Bird

Early this morning I was walking down the road to get papers. On the way I came upon the religious woman who normally stands in a particular spot with her Bible and crucifix, waiting for a private taxi to take her to the church at the Mount.

As I approached her and said "Good morning", my eye fell on a little bird in the drain before her. I bent down and looked at it to assess potential injuries before picking it up. I couldn't see anything amiss. Maybe its legs were damaged.

The religious woman (R.W.) said: "Oh gosh, you know I standing here so long and I ent even see dat bird dere?"

I moved my hand slowly toward the bird, asking it if it was okay. It was a small 'Big Eye Grief' and it was not moving. In fact it was frozen, its eyes wide, mouth slightly open, little body breathing heavily.

R.W.: Someting wrong.

Waiting until some cars had passed (in case the bird tried to scramble away from me and ended up under a tyre), I enclosed it in my hand, picked it up and asked it if it was hurt.

R.W.: Someting definitely wrong. A bird just doh let you pick it up so!

I agreed. The bird struggled a bit and then, to our amazement, flew out of my hands and onto the gate, where it perched.

R.W.: See if someting wrong with de right leg.

I moved closer to see. It looked normal. Nothing appeared to be physically wrong, yet the bird sat there, motionless, breathing hard. Maybe it was in shock. I approached it and touched it gently. It allowed me to. I wanted to at least move it to a place where it was further away from the road, so I lightly enclosed my hand around it and kept it there for a while. The bird also allowed me to do this, all the while looking at me from the side of its eye.

R.W.: But what is dis?! Nutting wrong wit dat bird! How it letting you hold it so?!

I then said to the bird: "Don't be afraid" and removed my hand.

It suddenly lifted its wings and strongly flew, disappearing into a tree some distance away.

R.W.: Buh eh-eh!

Shift

Every now
and then ...
a shift.
How can
I put
into words
what need not be said?
Only done.

Ordinary miracles today

(Canada Chronicles continued ...)

Even though I expressed this earlier this morning, I felt that it's not the post I want to leave up on my blog all day. In other words, it's not an ongoing feeling ... and not one I want to linger.

Then just now on my way to the grocery, I noticed this heart nestled in a mossy crack between two paving stones on the path ...

Then I got into the grocery and this song was playing. And I thought: These are the things I'll leave up.

ORDINARY MIRACLE

(Sarah McLachlan)

It’s not that usual when everything is beautiful
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

The sky knows when its time to snow
You don’t need to teach a seed to grow
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Life is like a gift they say
Wrapped up for you everyday
Open up and find a way
To give some of your own

Isn’t it remarkable?
Like every time a raindrop falls
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Birds in winter have their fling
And always make it home by spring
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

When you wake up everyday
Please don’t throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
Cause we are all a part
Of the ordinary miracle

Ordinary miracle
Do you want to see a miracle?

Its seems so exceptional
Things just work out after all
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

The sun comes up and shines so bright
It disappears again at night
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Hunting for treasure with Kelly and Nelly (with P.S.)

(P.S. 28-05-07 You can read Kikipotamus's version of our adventure here, with photos.)

As I write this, it is 9:59 a.m. ... late for me to get out of bed! Normally I am up and about by 6:00 or 6:30 a.m., regardless of the time I go to sleep. But after yesterday's ten hours of fun (eight of which were spent walking!) I knew I would sleep well ... and I did.

Yesterday was the first time I met up with fellow blogger, Kikipotamus the Hobo (Kelly), who came to Toronto by bus from Waterloo to spend the day. She is the one who sent me these great gifts the other day for being one of the winners of the treasure hunt on her blog.

Ironic, as our day turned out to be one big treasure hunt in itself! Kelly/Kikipotamus is one of those people who's willing to spontaneously do and enjoy anything.

In keeping with the labyrinth book she had sent me, we started the day by walking the labyrinth. This 'full circle' turned out to be one of the major themes of the day ... as every place in the city kept leading back to itself ... each time revealing something new.

After leaving the labyrinth, in trying to decide where to go next, I asked Kelly to suggest a random 'clue' which we could follow, to lead us to our next destination. She chose the colour purple ... which led us into the nearby church (maybe it should have led us to Alice Walker) which had the colour purple recurring within it. There was a little booklet with a treasure hunt featured on it ... leading us to search the church to find the objects depicted as clues on the pages. That was the beginning of the 'treasure hunt' theme of the day.

As we left the church, I created the next clue by choosing two elements: the number seven and the direction East. So ... we headed East and instinctively got onto a street car, not knowing where it would take us. We ended up in Kensington Market. There, as we stepped onto the beginning of the street (to enter the Market) we were met by a small art gallery type place whose name reflected the numerical part of the clue ... The Collective 7! (So heading East had led us to #7).

After exploring some more and stopping for something to eat at Temptations, we went looking for Contact photography exhibitions. Every location we found was closed ... so eventually, we practically gave up, realising that Contact just was not 'making contact' with us that day.

Time for another clue ... and it was Kikipotamus's turn to choose one. She said: "The number three" ... and I added a part two: "Fruit."

We instinctively headed in another direction, walking and talking. All of a sudden I saw one of the pink rectangular CONTACT signs stuck on the window of an antique shop which was actually open. We went in and found the exhibition. Lo and behold ... the first thing we saw at the entrance was ... three fruit! (Three apples). That one blew us away, as it was the strongest example so far of the clues 'working'!

For the final clue, I spun around in the street with my eyes closed and took a random shot which I showed to Kelly. Whatever she selected in the image would be the next clue. She chose a small dot in the upper left corner, which looked like a bird.

In keeping with the saying: "it's a bird, it's a plane ..." I then said that the next part of the clue would not be 'plane', but a word rhyming with plane. Some of the overhead wires in the shot had reminded me of train tracks ... so the clue became 'bird' and 'train'. I looked at my TTC subway map to see if there was a subway station with the name of a bird. And there was ... Finch! Did this mean we were to go to Finch?

In the end, as we had been walking for eight hours, we decided to not go to Finch, but to find somewhere to sit, rest our weary bodies and have a meal. As we sat and ate at a small outdoor cafe in Mirvish Village, three pigeons and some little birds came pecking nearby. It was then that Kikipotamus pointed out that these small birds are known in some parts as Finches! So that final clue turned out to be not Finch the station, but Finch the bird.

In all, there were many interesting treasures discovered throughout our adventure ... but it's hard to capture the full experience of such a fun, spontaneous day in words and explanations. The above only gives a basic outline.

Thanks for being such fantastic company for a fun day, Kikipotamus. It was great meeting up! May Nelly the Elephant* always guide you and yours along the path of great things in life.

* Toward the early night, as we grew tired, we had to rely on Nelly the Elephant to get us where we were going. Since childhood, Nelly the Elephant Squirts Water has been my way of remembering the cardinal points: N, E, S, W.

Treasure Hunt (the clues that led me)

(Canada Chronicles continued ...)

Simply walking down the road is like going on a treasure hunt. Inevitably there is always something to catch my eye and take me in. These are like clues, leading me from one point to the next.

First clue
Yesterday morning, riding the tram to the office, I saw a large red heart with the word 'YOU' under it, painted on a wall. I decided to return and take a closer look at it later. Upon leaving work in the afternoon, it was chilly and perfect for wandering on foot ... so I headed off in the direction of the heart.

Second Clue
Beyond the heart, I encountered a little reminder of the Soul Window on the sidewalk ...

Third Clue
A little further on, I noticed a small doorway with a steep, narrow staircase leading into a little art gallery. I crossed the road and went in. The photo exhibit in the upper room featured vibrant images from around the world. One in particular, taken in Cuba, caught my eye. It was the close up of a silver winged hood ornament on the front of an old car. Passing by, somewhat muted but obvious in the dark background, was a young woman, hunched deep in thought. Her slightly bent form, seen so close to the hood ornament, reflected its curved shape ... so much so that I instantly got the impression that she also had wings and was an angel, caught unaware. The photographer was in the gallery and when we were speaking, he asked me what I thought of the photos. I told him I especially was drawn to the Cuban photo with the girl who looks like the angel. He looked at the photo and agreed, saying that he had never seen it that way before. "That's photography," he said. "Sometimes it just captures what you wouldn't normally see."

Fourth Clue
The fourth clue was on me. The photographer, standing next to me talking about an image, suddenly stopped and said: "I have to ask you what that beautiful smell is. I followed it up the stairs and you were in here." I told him it was Patchouli. (I wear it all the time ... and I never smell it, but now and then someone will stop and ask me what it is).

Fifth Clue
Upon leaving the gallery, I followed the next clue, which was a loud noise. It sounded like a distant crowd of drummers. The rhythms were echoing, which made me feel that they were indoors practising or having a class. It sounded like the children we interviewed yesterday in the York drum class. This audio trail took me around a bend, along a back street, through a simple residential area and to the source of the noise ... not drummers, but a machine (like a small pile driver), pounding and breaking up the surface of the road on Dundas.

Sixth Clue
Small world. Looking up from the source of the noise, I noticed 'the sign' and entered the doorway. I met, was welcomed by and spent pleasant time with four lovely people. My companion was there.

Seventh Clue
I will return.

Summary of the clues:
1. Heart
2. Soul
3. Angel
4. Patchouli
5. Drums
6. Companion
7. Returning

Known and unknown: Angels and Answers

(Canada Chronicles continued) ...Street sign at the corner of the road where the office is.
*

The 'known' part of today involves going into the office for a preproduction meeting on the documentary we are working on. On my way there I will stop off and walk the labyrinth, which I have generally been doing every day.

The 'unknown' part of the day will involve being open to angels. Long story, but this journey seems to be full of them.

Yesterday I was in a large bookstore looking for a particular book. After I found it, I was wandering around looking at other sections. In the New Age section a book called "The Soul's Answers" caught my eye. It was a thick blue book with different 'answers' (messages) written on each page. The idea is to use bibliomancy to find answers to your questions. I stood there flipping the book open at random, getting various answers - often cryptic. One page opened three times during my flipping. It said: Fall away from thought. I took that as my main message, not only because it was the only one that had repeated itself, but because it is applicable. I tend to overthink sometimes.

I then came upon a shelf of books on angels and read two short examples of women who asked their angels to make their presence known to them (so that they would trust certain directions in or aspects of their life). To cut the story short, the angels made themselves clear by sending particular signs indicating that they were at work and present.

I was ready to leave, so I put the book down and said: "Angels, give me signs that you are present and let your messages be clear to me." Something told me to open "The Soul's Answers" again before leaving ... and guess which page it promptly opened on.

Fall away from thought.

Later that afternoon I was riding on the subway with my cousin and I brought up the topic of angels, asking her if she believed in their presence as messengers, guides, etc. in our lives. I was saying that they 'speak' to us in different ways, but ... sometimes we're so busy going about with our own agenda and thinking what we want to think that we don't hear what they're saying or feel where they're guiding us. Call it angels, intuition or what ... we can also ignore it or get confused rather than simply trusting and listening.

About a minute after, a tall man in a black t-shirt came and leaned up against the see-through plastic partition near the door of the train. On the back of his t-shirt which was facing me directly, was a simple slogan written in white:

Are you listening?

Small world

(Canada chronicles continued)

Yesterday I was going downtown. I was getting on the subway at Sheppard-Young and was about to enter one door when something told me to enter another door further down to the right. I got in and it was somewhat crowded. I was prepared to stand, but when I looked down, there was an empty seat. I looked at the woman sitting next to the empty seat and our eyes connected briefly.

As I sat, she leaned forward and said: "Excuse me, but don't I know you?"

I looked into her face properly and it's then that I recognised her (Bridgette) from Trinidad. I had met her in a Reiki class once, seen her a few times after that and she is also the good friend of one of my best friend's mothers. She has been living here for 6 years, as she married a Canadian. I had seen her face when I was first sitting ... and it looked familiar, but because I didn't expect someone I know to be sitting next to me, I did not connect the dots.

We spoke about what we are doing, chatted about Canada and about Trinidad and about what a small world it is. To make it even smaller ... she asked me where I was staying. When I told her, she said: "Oh, I'm living just around the corner from you! You must give me a call."

Later, I was in a store buying something. When I got to the counter, the salesgirl asked me for my phone number (for their database). I told her it doesn't make sense me giving it to her as I will not be at that phone number after a while. She said: "You're not from here? Funny. Today a lot of people who are visiting from other countries were in the store. Where are you from?"

I told her I was from Trinidad.

She said: "Oh! My dad's from there!"

Had it not been for ...

(Canada chronicles continued)

Things really do happen for a reason ... and sometimes in a round-about way. At least, I have come to realise that my ways are often roundabout ... which must be why I love walking the labyrinth. No matter how round-about it appears, it leads to the truth, the centre.

Satya.

Had it not been for my enrollment to the reflexology class, I would not have come to and been in Canada now.

Had it not been for the course being canceled, I may not have further acknowledged the feeling that I am here for some other reason.

Had it not been for acknowledging the feeling that I was here for a reason (or reasons) yet unknown to me, I may not have woken up the next day hearing the "Unwritten" song in my head.

Had it not been for "Unwritten" song repeating in my head, I would not have read the lyrics and been subconsciously guided to take a simple but specific course of action.

Had it not been for that simple but specific course of action, I may not have been led in another (totally unexpected .. yet somehow not) direction.

Had it not been for that direction, I would not have had the opportunity that was thereafter given to me.

Had it not been for the opportunity, I would not have been given a job.

Had it not been for this new job, I would not have had my first day at work yesterday and my second day today.

Had it not been for ...

My magic map

A portion of the magic map
*

Last night
I was given
a magic map:
Everything
I could want and need
and still,
room for discovery.

Serendipity

(In internet cafe)

Couldn't think of anything to write ... so I randomly clicked on my list of blog labels and got 'serendipity'. What serendipitous things have happened lately? Maybe many, but I can just think of one right now.

Just when I was thinking I should buy a laptop so that I can have convenience on my journey, my friend and old riding pal Mel called to tell me she's in town. She is a tekkie, always with some gadget. She immediately told me about her latest acquisition - a new 13" Macbook, which she is very happy with and has been advising me to get. (She was Mac, then PC, now Mac again with a PC laptop on its way out). I played around with the Macbook yesterday and found it very simple and light, easy to carry, with long battery life, etc. I ultimately would have gone for/wanted to go for a 'souped up' Pro Macbook, but budgetwise not possible now ... so may go for that one day in the future ... and for now just go for the portability, convenience and light weight of a smaller Macbook.

One 'Wow' after another

Yesterday I received a wonderful gift in the mail from the blogger Kikipotamus (Kelly). Some time ago she had had a blogwarming party (she was moving her blog address) and sent special invitations to people who read her blog. One 'activity' at the party was a kind of treasure hunt, with the clues (questions) leading to answers which could be found on her blog or on the blogs of other bloggers in her sidebar. There were prizes. I ended up getting many of the questions right and my prize was to be a pair of earrings which she would make.

One of the pairs of earrings made by Kelly (which I got yesterday).

It is on one of the heart-shaped stones I found at Toco during the silent retreat.

It took ages for the package to arrive (from the time she e-mailed and told me she had sent it). I thought it was either lost or that some postal person had opened it, liked the earrings and kept them. When the envelope arrived yesterday it felt like a lovely surprise from the middle of nowhere.

Upon opening the large envelope, I found myself saying "Wow!' with every discovery. I was amazed to find not only the pair of earrings featured in photo above, but lots of other simple, unexpected treasures:

This pair of earrings was also included in the gift pack. Ironically or not, my tattoo is etched on them. I wore them last night when I went out and they looked great.

This book by Lauren Artress - The Sacred Path Companion: A Guide to Walking the Labyrinth to Heal and Transform. Very apt. I immediately opened it and it fell on a page containing a message which I found extremely relevant and helpful.

This blank card and its envelope were tucked in the labyrinth book. It is a lovely watercolour entitled "Scott Plantation Settlement", painted by Dottie Morissey, Kelly's mother. I like the fact that Kelly wrote nothing in the card, but left it 'blank'. Immediately, its emptiness did not strike me as blank, but containing a full message. (Perhaps because of what I had read when I opened the labyrinth book).

Last but not least, there was this little box with a rainbow drawn on it with markers. It had a special feel to it. I shook it and there was no sound. The sides were taped and for some reason I decided not to open it until today. (This reminded me of a story I'd written once. Maybe I'll share it tomorrow as a blog post). When I woke up this morning, I opened the little box and there, wrapped/nestled in green kite paper (which is why it wasn't rattling when I shook it), was a pristine white feather (looks as if it is carved from bone?) attached to a long white cord. Again, it spoke volumes. I am wearing it now.

Thank you, Kelly, for those great gifts! Simple, powerful and appreciated.

Elspeth

Inspiration

This week's Sunday Scribblings prompt is Inspiration

Some of the heart shaped stones (and leaf) I found at the silent retreat this weekend. I usually find lots of heart shaped natural things, but this weekend in particular they jumped out at me everywhere as I walked on the beach, the grass or the road. There were so many that after a while I stopped picking them up. Even on my walk this morning, practically every time I looked down there was a heart-shaped something ... a stone, a leaf, an oil stain on the road, a hole, a dark spot of pitch ...

The thing that inspires me is Love. At the core of everything I do or am drawn to is Love in some aspect - the presence of it, the seeming absence of it, the quest for it, the desire for it, the finding of it, the feeling of it (or not), Love of self, love of someone, love of something, love of Spirit, etc etc etc. The list could go on. Both subconsciously and consciously Love is what drives me because at the core of me is always the desire to be it, have it and know it. I find it difficult if not impossible to do something meaningful and true without it.

Early morning visit from a friend

At 5:30 a.m. I had already been up for a while and was lying on my bed absorbed in writing something. Suddenly on the paper there was the shadow of something flying around my room. I looked up, expecting to see one of those large black moths. But no - it was a bat. It had most likely come in on its own. (Normally when they find themselves in my room it's courtesy Jasper). When I saw it I felt happy to see it, like seeing an old friend. This isn't normally my response upon seeing a bat in the house ... (I remember, as children, screaming and hiding under the bed with my sisters and not coming out until Daddy came to remove the creature) ... but after being among so many bats the other evening, I somehow felt a new kind of connection. I even thought (jokingly): "Have you flown all the way from Tamana?"

Also , since having had Rainbow on that personal basis, I realise I've developed a different view of (and feeling for) for flying creatures. Seeing Rainbow develop and finally fly free made me really feel and appreciate that process - both for her (and flying creatures in general) and for myself.

Interestingly, what I was writing as I lay in my bed had to do with inner and outer transformation. It's as if the little bat had popped in just to confirm that everything is transforming greatly.

Souls meeting for Grasshopper Goodbyes

I've come to know with surety that each Lamp goes to the right person/people/place. Last night I stood in the carpark of the Hilton with the Soul Window and her new owners, handing over. They had cleverly walked with a torchlight to test out the effects of the lamp (as much as one can without the 'real' light behind it). It felt special.

I will link you to the new-owner-taken photos (taken last night in the carpark) whenever she puts them up. Something about that lamp has thus far invited us to just take photos of its special parts and to not show not its whole ... (yet?)

As we stood there for what felt like a long time, talking, there were a few times when grasshoppers landed - first on the lamp (top right pane first, heading through the ripples toward the heart stone) and then at other points landing on us and even at one point almost flying straight into my mouth for dinner.

The insistent present of the grasshopper seemed like a message for all of us, so I looked it up ...

The Grasshopper as a power animal:
One of the gifts these insects hold is the power of song and sound. Song is an ancient way to alter consciousness and communicate with our animal and spirit relations. Some Native American songs date back at least 20,000 years. If these insect singers have caught your attention with their song, they may be asking you to honor your ancestors and reconnect with your true heritage. Listening and responding to your inner voice as well as using it in a complimentary way towards self and others is equally important.
The grasshopper-locust is associated with astral travel. They have the ability to leap through time and into space where the true mysteries of life exist. People with this medicine have the wisdom necessary to overcome obstacles efficiently and are able to jump into successful ventures without preparation or planning. When the grasshopper-locust appears to us we are being asked to take a leap of faith and jump forward into a specific area of life without fear. Usually that specific area is one that we have avoided and is often connected to change on a larger scale. This can represent a change in location, relationships, career or just in the way we perceive ourselves.

Bon Voyage and Thank You!

Today's message (one of them, anyway) ...

Around Christmas I was at the Raj Yoga centre. A friend had invited me to a meditation they were having for a kidnap victim. While there, I noticed little cards hanging on their Christmas tree. When I went closer, I saw that the cards all had lovely words on them (Love, Peace, Forgiveness, Lightness, Wonder, etc.), each accompanied by a short explanation. I asked someone about it and they said the cards are from a pack which they had had available at the St. Augustine Centre (but were now out of stock). I wanted two packs (one for myself, one as a gift), but I didn't know where to get any, since there were no more.

A few days later a friend of mine said to me: "Spec, I saw something today and it reminded me of you, so I had to get it for you!" It turned out to be a pack of those very Brahma Kumaris 'Self Mastery Cards' I had wanted! He had gotten them in the Centre in South (they have them in stock).

The little box contains a set of 66 slim cards, each one bearing one word which is a particular quality or state of being - and a little explanation to go with it.

Every morning after my yoga/meditation I choose one for the day ahead. This morning I got:

TRUST

Having recognized my mastery, I trust myself. I am able with each connection I make, to base it firmly in trust, both in myself and in the one I face.

Smile

People have different things to say about what position to put horeshoes in for 'good luck'. Someone told me once (and I've seen it written), that a horseshoe turned with the open part up (as in photo above) will collect blessings. I favour that reasoning. Turned that way it reminds me of a smile. But then again, you could also say that if the open part is turned downwards that it is showering blessings. I would say it's easier to just think of it as a symbol of blessings regardless of which way it's turned.

The shoe in the photo - I can't remember where I found it. Either in Lopinot (although I think the ones I found there are smaller, as though for donkeys or small ponies) or in England. The horseshoe on my bedroom door is much thicker and heavier and kind of crusty. I found that one near Stonehenge in 2004.

(I haven't got used to putting posts into categories yet. Some posts are easy to find a category for - e.g. Poems or Animals. But what about a post like this. Miscellaneous?)