Wednesday, October 11, 2006


After a night of profound dreaming, I woke up 'late' (for me) - after 8:00 a.m. this morning and lay in bed wondering what I was still doing there. My mind was blank. Therefore I didn't update the blog early as usual. For various reasons, upon waking I felt this would be a significant day.

Later, I entered a garden in St. Anns and the first thing I saw was an old doorknob - the round, dark brown ceramic looking kind. It was peeking out from under a bush and figuratively 'jumped out' at me, into my eyesight as I walked up the path. Thinking back, I'm surprised I even saw it, as it was almost the same colour as the earth. I picked it up and held it for a long while as I walked around, intending to keep it because I found it highly symbolic ... an old doorknob, attachable to any imaginary door I could want it to be attached to. At one point it started to rain heavily and I held it (to be washed) under the run-off water falling powerfully from the roof. Made me think about what doors I want to be opened for me now.

In the end I did not keep the doorknob. No need for me to have it any longer than I did. The doors are open.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your thinking is so speechless sometimes... do your thoughts ever get a time to rest? You always seem to question everything around/about you? Can’t some things just be for being not for any reason at all?

Pardon the interruption

9:44 PM  
Blogger Elspeth said...

Yes, my thoughts do get time to rest. Yes, I do question or think about a lot of things - but not all things or at all times. (I mention some of those thoughts here, so it may sound like 'a lot' to you, appearing all in one place). And yes, some things can be for 'being not for any reason at all'. (And why was that an interruption? Final question - rhetorical)

5:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Anonymous1, the last time I witnessed such impatience was when I myself was recently wishing that my child would give me a break with the questions. Fortunately for my child’s mental development and emotional comfort, I did not voice this frustration. He believes that everything is for a reason and he is dying to find out what that reason is. My impatience melts as I watch his genuine attentiveness and the little face that lights up, “So that’s the reason!!” Why do we lose this hunger for epiphanies as we grow older?

I believe that Elspeth will question everything at least once, and again only if changing circumstances or life experiences warrant some revision. Try it sometimes. It will make the familiar much richer and the unexpected less shocking. If anyone else has stopped questioning, stop by this blog more often to kick start that engine in the head.

I didn’t understand what you meant by Elspeth’s thinking being so speechless so I was left speechless by your thinking. In my experience, thinking is usually speechless unless you chose to speak aloud, are into stream-of-consciousness vocalization or are experiencing Tourrete's Syndrome.

By the way, you asked THREE questions in five lines of text. I’d say there is hope for you yet. I believe that everything IS for a reason…whether the reason is already known or yet to be discovered.


11:51 AM  

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