Monday, May 28, 2007

One last thing on the TTopic

Life is what you make it. Trinidad is a beautiful place if only you would let yourself see it.

What do we say, "the grass is always greener on the other side" until we live on the other side instead of holidaying on it.

(Anonymous, on this post).
I decided to respond here to this comment by Anonymous (which I understand and agree with), but ...

When I was venting about how I feel about TT a lot of the time now, I figured there would be opinions (stated or not) which reflected the sentiments of the above comment.

Yes, wherever we are, life is what we make it. I am well aware of that ... which is why, when I am in Trinidad (or anywhere else, for that matter), I try to make life as enjoyable or purposeful as possible for myself (and often others by extension).

And yes, Trinidad is a beautiful place and I do 'let' myself see it. Sometimes I've felt proud to be from TT ... and sometimes I just couldn't care less that I was born there. Perhaps because it is 'beautiful' I get angry about a lot that goes on and a lot that is being destroyed. There are efforts being made by people to do positive things in the country ... but, the negating aspects can become overwhelming on any give day(s). And then, even my own efforts and others' efforts to be positive and instigate change fall by the wayside and seem pointless. Then time passes, we gather new strength or determination (or whatever it is) and just get back up and keep going.

Yes, the 'grass' can seem greener on the other side when one is 'holidaying' as opposed to living, working and hustling there as the case may be. Each place has its pros and cons ... and we each choose (or end up in, for whatever reason) the location of the pros and cons we will live with daily. There are people who live abroad for years and never want to come back to their homeland. There are those who long to return and sometimes do. There are those who are in TT and long to leave ... for a number of reasons. There are those who would never dream of leaving and can't understand why anyone would want to. There are those who are not even from TT who come to TT, fall in love with it and end up staying or returning constantly. There is no one way or reason.

I don't imagine I am alone in feeling this whenever I do. If it sounds like I'm frustrated about the thought of aspects of TT right now, it's because I am.


Anonymous Chookooloonks said...

Just thought I'd throw my $0.02 in -- I know EXACTLY what you mean.

I love Trinidad. Trinidad will always be home for me, despite the fact I've lived many, many years in the United States. When I returned to Trinidad to live two years ago, something in my soul knew that I'd returned to the culture to which in belonged.


Since we returned to Houston (my husband's job brought us back here to the States), I realize how much easier I breathe here as well. For example, one recent night, we realized that we were out of milk for our daughter -- and I went out to the store, by myself, at 11 p.m. at night, bought the milk, and came back home without a second thought. I would've NEVER EVER done this in Trinidad, because I never went ANYWHERE by myself after dark in Trinidad. Ever. And that's not spoken as someone who is "holidaying" here in the States, or someone who has anything against Trinidadian culture or its (good) people. That's just FACT. A sad, heartbreaking fact, but fact nonetheless.

As far as I'm concerned, as a woman who loves her country with a frightening passion, your frustration is well-founded.

10:30 PM  
Anonymous pottevil said...

I'll add my bit as a Trini returning home; I think Anonymous' comment has a lot of fear in it; and the fear comes from the truth in what you say and other people finding out about it. I used to say/feel the same way. But now I know there are others; I don't feel so alone about the work to be done, knowing there are others to offer support and advice.

I understand your frustration (and you are not alone in it), I hear it in the writings of others, Dana Seethal, Attilah Springer, Irma Mathur to name a few, but they also write about the beauty that is still there. I'm frustrated and annoyed at the politicians, charlartans and "mooks" who we have to fight against. And in spite of second thoughts, fear, apprehension and panic, I look forward to going home. David Rudder sang (can you tell I'm a huge fan) it best in "The Ganges & The Nile".

5:18 PM  

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