Monday, January 22, 2007

Letting go

If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back to you, it's yours.
If it doesn't, it never was.
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Rainbow on the polished wooden floors of her new apartment.
(N.B. The little souvenir load she dropped)
I spent the night by my friend Rosanna so that we could wake up early and do a 2 1/2 hour meditation. I took Rainbow with me. She had a lovely time in the garden in the evening and slept peacefully overnight in Rosanna's yoga room. It was glaringly obvious to Rosanna how attached Rainbow is to me (and vice versa) ... and, seeing that I want her to be free and find a flock and not return to me with the possibility of being eaten alive by the dogs, Rosanna said "Why don't I keep Rainbow so she'll be weaned off of you ..." (although we both agreed that I was the one who needed more 'weaning off of' ...) I hesitated internally at first, but then realised that this could be the best thing for RainB.
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Rainbow sitting on my rolled up yoga mat. The clever creature had jumped up on it and was rolling back and forth, flapping her wings.
At her new home in Maraval, there are no cats and dogs, so she is able to roam freely throughout the apartment and she will spend time in the garden whenever Rosanna is there. At night she will return to her cage to sleep.
Currently she flies short distances only. I think the only destination she knew was me. If we were out in the garden, she would fly from where she was to wherever I was ... and that was all she knew. I feel this way she will become more independent. At Rosanna's she will be treated well, without a doubt, and she will have the freedom to roam without peril ... but she will not be as 'spoilt' as she was with me. I feel this is better, as it will allow her to understand she is a pigeon with the world as her playground.
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When the feathers under her wings have developed and she is strong enough to lift herself into the air and fly properly, she will go. Detta says she will most likely find a flock in the St. James area and either stay with them ... or return from time to time to the garden and neighbourhood she considers to be home. I don't know if her electromagnetic 'powers' will bring her back to St. Augutsine, but only time will tell.
When I reached back home, it was strange not having her here squeaking as I opened the door ... and ready to play. I will miss her avian presence ... and the opportunity of seeing her take her first flight (unless I happen to be visiting when she does it).
I didn't think this was the way I expected to let Rainbow go ... but it feels right - for her.
Thank you. It was a wonderful experience knowing you, Rainbow! Wherever life takes you, may it be full of only happy journeys and destinations.


Blogger Susannah said...

"I think the only destination she knew was me" - this made my heart flip. so incredibly hard to let go of the things we love, but you have done so so mindfully... as much as i hope that Rainbow finds her way in the world out there, i also hope she flies back to you... Sx

1:45 PM  
Anonymous SPH said...

Your endeavours and serendipities with Rainbow sound like parentship in fast forward mode. All the best to you, Rainbow and Rosanna

3:51 PM  
Blogger allan said...

It is interesting how when a bucket is big or a well is deep the smallest pebble resounds and echoes when it chances in. It's not that the vessel was empty but that it was cavernous from use, always with something that is being sought by someone. E. , Rainbow as a beautiful brush stroke, a pretty, bold and noticable one. Be well

4:40 PM  
Blogger Webgrl said...

I've been attempting to comment. I think anything i say will be so......said.


6:24 PM  
Anonymous Kelly said...

Oh, Elspeth. You are so strong! I don't think I could have done that in your place.


9:51 PM  

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