Thursday, January 03, 2008

"Surprise me" is what I have said to the Universe

Propeller of the LIAT plane shot through dirty window on flight back to TT yesterday.

My focus this year will be me. As simple as it may sound, this is such a vast statement that I'm not even sure what it means or how to fully go about it.

TSTT has given me the first major clue. I came back yesterday to a dead telephone. I called 824-TSTT to report the problem and was kept holding the line for so long that I gave up. When I eventually get through I will no doubt be told that in "3 - 5 working days" a technician will come and look at it. From past experience this could mean three to five working months. Rather than get irritated and worked up, I will be patient and see this as a simple message to trust, communicate with and listen more to my internal self, my higher self ... and less with external people and sources.

In the midst of everything, this year I will strive to be patient. Patience is not one of my virtues, but I will make it one of my strengths. Lack of it leads to impulsive emotions, thoughts, words and (re)actions. There is nothing wrong with impulse, but I want my energies to pass through a filter of patience so that when they are released (whether impulsively or not) they are clear, focused and sure.

I have made no fixed plans for 2008. I will be an open vessel ... letting things come to me, rather than thinking of, worrying about or figuring out what I want or what I 'should' be doing or who I am or am not. This process can involve the feeling of being lost (a bit like how I feel upon returning) ... but I do not want to be afraid of or impatient with the 'lostness'.

"Surprise me" is what I have said to the Universe.

This involves patience, courage and trust ... being in the 'now' and not dwelling on the past or projecting into the future. It involves developing a solid core of 'me'. It involves being true to myself and constantly tuning in to what that means. It is an intense learning process on so many levels. Being true to myself involves the possibility of other people feeling/being hurt (albeit unintentionally) ... because in being true to the self there are elements that others may not like, agree with or understand. There are elements of my self that I also may not understand ... until I do.



Post a Comment

<< Home