Wednesday, February 20, 2008

A hard but necessary thing to do

Earlier I was upstairs eating breakfast. I came down to find my room festooned with feathers and Jasper sitting on my bed feasting on a small dove (the second he has brought me in two weeks). I darted forward to grab the bird, even though the back half of its body was practically eaten off (open, all the insides outside). As I grabbed it up, I noticed with horror that it was still alive ... eyes half open, body warm, beak open and heaving for breath in my hands.

Despite my horror at the thought, my only choice was to figure out the best way to put it out of its misery.
I used the first heavy thing I saw: a brick in the garden that I had done mosaic artwork on years ago. I put the bird on the earth, closed my eyes and dropped the brick as hard as I could. When I opened my eyes and removed the brick to look, it was still alive ... the head was jerking and twisting as it gasped. I blocked my ears (instinctive reaction to looking at horror). I then quickly took the brick and slammed it with greater force onto the bird. I dug a hole there and buried it, placing one of the few remaining mosaic tiles (which had fallen off with the impact) as its tiny headstone.
I cannot be angry with Jasper. He is a hunter and gift-bringer and he probably thinks he is treating me. Normally he brings his catches in live and I just release them. On the odd occasion that they are dead, I put them in a bush or bury them (as I did with the dove last week). But this one was a first - having to kill it myself.

I guess the message for today is: If you have to do something, no matter how difficult it seems or feels, just close your eyes, block your ears and get it done.

Or maybe open your eyes, open your ears and do it.

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Blogger GirlBlue said...

Ouch, not something I would have wanted to do myself or wish upon anyone else. Sorry you had to do that.

7:29 AM  
Blogger Andreamuse said...

oh oh oh oh how awful. I'm sorry you had to do that. I'm listening to Stardust sing next to me and I know that must have been so hard to do. But you did the right thing and saved her from a painful slow death.

9:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's the kind of experience that would stay with me for a long time, haunting me when I close my eyes. But you're right, there are some things you just have to do, eyes open or closed.

8:40 PM  

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