Beloved

(This week's Sunday Scribblings topic is 'Powerful').

As incongruous as this may sound, sometimes when I am weak I am powerful. In surrendering to the moment of 'powerlessness', something bigger takes over and brings a different kind of power.

That's how I felt when I sang my song 'Beloved' tonight at the Greenlight concert. Some friends had specially requested it - in fact they said they were coming to the concert just to hear that song ... but because I ended up starting the show instead of singing at 6 p.m. as originally carded (long story), they were not there to hear it. So, before singing 'Beloved', I said to the audience that it had been requested by absent friends and that I was going to sing it for them in spirit.

Something happened when I started to sing. I'm not sure what (maybe a bit of nerves due to unexpectedly opening the show and that being the first song) ... but after the first few words, I felt as though I had no control over what I was playing or singing . I was just about to think "Oh gosh, I'm going to mess this up!" ... when something in me literally surrendered and was taken over by something else. Hard to explain, but it ended up being the best I've ever sung that song ... or maybe even any song. My eyes were closed and, to me, my voice felt like it was coming from somewhere else, like a deep emotional cave ... and going somewhere else, other than that concert hall. I literally found myself wondering, like an objective viewer: "Is that me?"

I can't explain it. It felt powerful. So powerful that it made me weak ... if that makes sense.

*

BELOVED
(by Elspeth Duncan)

Beloved, come to bed
Beloved, rest your weary head.
The pillow dreams of your face on it
Like the cup dreams of your lips on it
Like the wind dreams of your hair in it
Like my heart dreams of you
My heart dreams

Beloved,
Why are you there?
Beloved, you should be here
Where my shoulder dreams of you upon it
My mouth dreams of your lips on it
My hand dreams of your hand in it
And my heart dreams of you
My heart dreams ...

Beloved
Be love, love, love, love, love, love, loved
Be love, love, love, love, love, love, loved
Be love, love, love, love, love, love, loved.