Monday, October 15, 2007

Do not ignore

Lately I have been ignoring my inner voice. This throws me off balance and can make me feel horrible and confused ... to know that something I felt/sensed was true and I did not pay attention to it.

Today after I woke up and meditated, I said a little prayer that I would increasingly be able to hear the guidance and that I will trust it again. I asked for a sign to let me know.

I was going walking for papers and decided to go for the longer walk around the University, which I have not done in a while. As I walked, a strident thought came out of nowhere: "I will find a puppy now."

As I neared the exact spot where I had found Rainbow earlier this year, a cute brown puppy wearing a blue collar appeared. It gamboled around the legs of a man who was strolling by, but he was ignoring it. I asked him if it was his and he said no. I asked two other people (a guard and a cleaner) nearby and they had no idea who it belonged to or where it had come from. I deduced that it must have been terrified by the recent spate of thunder and had fled from its home, as many dogs do.

The pup was frisking around so close to the cars on the mainroad ... and I didn't want to return from my walk and see it crushed. I told the cleaner I would take the pup home, take some photos of it, make flyers and stick them around ... and hopefully the owner would be see them and contact me.

The cleaner said: "Yes, do dat. Dat ent no pothong, yuh know! Dat is ah good breed!"

I told her that doesn't make a difference. Trinis feel that you should only put effort into saving or owning a dog if it is 'a breed'. Just like how people referred to Rainbow as 'only a street pigeon'. That doesn't make her less than a pigeon sold in pet shops. To make the point: can pigeons in petshops play the thumb piano and sing the way Rainbow did?

Anyway, I left the pup playing with the cleaner and the guard and continued on my walk, intending to pick it up on my way back. Upon my return, the pup was not there.

"Where is it?" I asked the cleaner.

"Me eh know. It was playing an' I turn my back an' it gone."

Another guard standing nearby said: "Dat was your dog?"

I told him it wasn't, but that I was going to take it home so it would be safe, make flyers, try and find the owner, etc.

He said: "Well a man came jes now and take it. It mus' be he own."

I walked off, thinking about how the puppy had 'appeared' and 'disappeared' ... and it suddenly occurred to me that the puppy was a sign. It was as if it had been put there ... not for me to rescue and take home ... but simply to remind me that when my inner voice speaks loudly, I can trust it.

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Blogger Emmy Horstkamp said...

I liked hearing about your sign.. yesterday I was getting annoyed because the city was too loud and I wanted to hear the water in the fountain... as soon as I had the thought, the skies opened up and poured so much rain that all I could hear was the sound of water.

Good luck listening to your inner voice. Sometimes we need some assurance and you certainly received a playful sign.

5:49 PM  
Blogger Makeda said...

You are so divine, Spec. Channeling the other Elspeth Duncan, eh?

8:03 AM  
Anonymous Kikipotamus said...

I have an inner voice story of my own. When I arrived in LR, I made a point of including a trip to Heifer Project Int'l Gift shop to look at their djembe, as I told you I would do. I was feeling very unsure about such a big purchase. The drum for sale ($200) had scratches and gouges in the body from being carelessly shipped and handled. I used that as my excuse not to buy it, but felt troubled by my decision. Was I afraid to buy a drum? Why? I didn't know, I just knew it didn't feel right yet.

Next I visited the HPI Gift shop in the city and they also had the same djembe for $200 but also scratched. Again I didn't buy it. I resolved myself to getting a drum later, back in Canada. But that decision didn't feel 100% right, either.

Today I had a date to meet my brother for supper and then a free movie at the library. We had a lot of time to kill after supper, so he went on to check his email at the library and I was pulled into the Ten Thousand Villages next to the pub where we'd eaten.

Though Canada's 10,000 Villages don't carry drums, this one had a wonderful selection. I found a cute little (unscratched) djembe for $170.

Now I know why my inner voice said, "not this one, not yet" twice.

Are you ready to give me my first lesson?

5:33 PM  
Blogger Elspeth said...

Sure - ready when you are.

6:02 PM  

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