Tide in, Tide out

The sea comes in and goes out again.
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Dear All,

Since January 8, 2005 when I started this blog, I have enjoyed the daily process. As my 'Creative Portal', it served as a space within which I was easily able to express and project elements of myself and my work - albeit drops in the ocean of 'me'.

Over this time I connected with many great people who entered the Now is Wow 'Portal'. Some came and went, some came and stayed. Some I never met in person, some I did - forming special connections.

Today's post will be Now is Wow's last post. I was sitting here wondering what to say about that ... wondering how to close this blog off without sounding too abrupt, too long winded or too whatever-else-would-not-say-it-adequately. In life's typical way, a few minutes ago, a symbol came along to assist me and to affirm everything. I had paused on my 'wondering what to say and how to say it' and went upstairs to get some water. There was a green bird (green tanager I think it's called) - one of my favourite birds - trapped in the kitchen, pressed against the closed window. (Thankfully Jasper wasn't about!) I went to it and, although it agitated a bit as I got closer, it did not seem terrified, as many birds usually are when this happens. I opened the window, said "There you go" and she flew away over the grass.

That story says it all.

I will leave Now is Wow up as an archive. Anyone coming to it will see this page and will be able to explore all that has gone before via the links in the sidebar. Those interested in following up on certain projects which are to be completed can read more about that here.

I thank all of you who, in a variety of ways, were a part of this online journey/experience. I wish each of you the best in your lives and in every endeavour. While this blog may be 'no more', one Truth remains eternally unchanged for every one of us: Now will always be Wow.

Love, Elspeth

Many wows in many nows

The amazing synchronicity of life makes it happen.

Thank You ... and a final update for now

Scene from 'Invisible': Veronica and her daughter

A lot has happened since last Friday. Energy and interest continue to be generated around the mini-documentary 'Invisible: Children living with HIV/AIDS' and the cause that arose from it (the building of a home for Veronica and her children). Moved by the situation, various individuals and organisations have stepped up and made offers of support: financial, advice, media, service, materials and otherwise.

Scene from 'Invisible': Veronica giving her 4 year old daughter her medication

It is necessary to build Veronica's House within a certain time frame (by end of July). It is also necessary to recognize that 'Rome wasn't built in a day.' Now is a time when those who have offered to help will be meeting with their groups and superiors to determine what will tangibly be given or done. At some point, words will become actions and the work will begin. When that time comes, an online update will be given on Veronica's House.

Meanwhile, on behalf of Veronica and her children, we thank the following individuals and organisations for their involvement thus far.

(From 'Invisible'): "She's not the first and she won't be the last ..."

THANK YOU
(In first-name-alphabetical order):

Angela Lee Loy
Ann Duncan
Barry 'Tiger Woods' Eligon
Camille King
Charisse Cardenas
D. Coord
Emmanuel Alleyne
Everyone who wrote Dreams
Gayelle
Glenford Bhagat and Afford Office Line
Greenlight Network
Hakeeb and Joanne Nandalal
Hyacinth Cross
Janine Mendes-Franco
Joanne Allong-Haynes
Kathryn Duncan
Kikipotamus
Kim Kranich
Mala Morton-Gittens
Mark JH Franco
Martin O'Brien
Mike Gutowski
Mrs. Sharma
Mrs. Sloane-Seale
NACC
Nalini Sharma
Nikola Lashley
Nisha Ojar
Nurse Reverly Downes
O'Leo Lokai
Priya Ganess-Nanton
Public donators
Brahma Kumaris/Raj Yoga Centre
Richard Defreitas
Sean Lennard
Sheldon Holder
Tanya Barnes
The Divine
The Trinidad Express/CCN TV6
The women of the Interclub
TTCRC
W.O.U.P.
Wendy Bhagwansingh
YMCA

If there is anyone whose name is not on this list but who has contributed in any way thus far to the Veronica's House initiative, the omission is not intentional. Please consider yourself thanked.

Sincerely,
Elspeth (TT)
Katie (TO)

What the Dream House was/is for: building dreams and a real house

Where it all began.
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Some time early this week I will receive the photos of Dream House launch night from the photographer. Rather than wait until then to explain what the making of this lamp was all about, I will do so now (and post photos later).

As described early on, the lamp is a three dimensional prayer. "For what?" you must be asking.

In order to explain, let me take you through basic steps of what happened on the night of the Dream House launch.

Prior to the launch, I asked those from abroad who had signed up for the Dream House International list to write their dreams (waking dreams, not sleeping ones) and e-mail them to me so that I could act on their behalf on the night.

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REMEMBER THE LINE I HAD ON THE INVITATION: When dreams come true, lives change. Mine. Yours. Theirs.

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OUR DREAMS TO MANIFEST
On the night, I unveiled the lit Dream House to an appreciative, applausive (if there's such a word) crowd. You will see the photos eventually, but basically the lamp itself is like a small house. To the side of the 'house' there is a slit in the wall into which everyone's dreams, written on squares of paper (all colours of the rainbow) were 'posted'. The international dreams went in first (I slipped them in for those who could not be there); then I wrote mine and slipped it in; then, for the rest of the night, people from the crowd came, sat in front of the lamplight, thought about what they wanted to say, wrote their dreams, posted them, etc. It was a great vibe. It was even possible to see some of the dream paper fluttering past the window (behind the artwork) to join the other dreams ... all of them now in the Light.

THEIR DREAMS TO MANIFEST
Later in the night (after the unveiling), I turned the lamp around so that its back was facing the crowd. The back is flat and white, about 4 ft x 3 ft. This surface I used as a screen to project the mini documentary I had worked on late last year (INVISIBLE: Children living with HIV/AIDS) - which I did as a job for TTCRC (TT Coalition for the Convention on the Rights of the Child). The film, which turned out to be extremely moving and powerful, had the audience silenced ... especially at the end when one learns what happened to Veronica and her children subsequent to the interview/filming. Stigma and discrimination are a disease in their own right.

The following is a blurb from a letter Katie, my production assistant on the film (who is now back in Toronto as of Sunday) and I have been using to gather support:

This mini-documentary aims to raise awareness of children living with HIV/AIDS through the story of one mother, Veronica, and her two children. As a result of HIV/AIDS-related stigma, Veronica and her children are presently homeless. This critical situation is taking a heavy toll on the health of Veronica and her young daughter, who are both living with HIV. The film is being screened in order to gather support for the construction of ‘Veronica’s House’ – a new home and new hope for this family.

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The film being projected onto the Dream House (lamp) is a projection of the dream of Veronica and her children - to have a home for themselves. It is supported by the energy of everyone else's dreams within the lamp. Similarly, the collective dreams within represent the collective energy of those people who come together to make this real house possible. Hence Dream House has two meanings - a house full of dreams (many people's dreams) and a dream house for a family in need.

WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE DREAM HOUSE (LAMP)?
The Dream House lamp will move around to different places and people will continue to place their dreams into it ... until the day that Veronica and her children step into their newly constructed home. Then the lamp will be opened (the roof has a lock on it), the dreams removed (unread) and placed in a vessel (time capsule concept). This will be buried deep in the forest and a tree planted over it (exact vessel, forest and kind of tree to be determined).

IN THE MEAN TIME ...
Things have been unfolding in great ways. So far we have generous donations of materials toward the house and a contractor who is willing to do a lot of work and offer so much for the cause. Much more still has to be acquired and more has to happen, but undoubtedly it will. There is a bank account to which members of the public who are willing to assist can donate whatever is possible. Cash and kind are welcome. If you are moved to assist in any way, please do not hesitate to contact me.

I will supply this information (account, etc.) in another post to keep it simple and clear. I will also provide updates on the progress of the construction as everything unfolds and takes shape.

So this is what inspired Dream House ... the desire/need to build a house for Veronica and her children. We felt it was impossible to work on the video, to meet this little family and see what happened to them as a result of stigma ... and not do anything more to assist their situation.

And in terms of the lamp, it has a life of its own. So much more has come, is coming and will come from it.

Thank you to all, both seen and unseen, who have been and will be a part of this construction (in whatever ways possible).

A great Dream House launch

Thank you to everyone who attended the Dream House launch (in person and in spirit) on Friday night. It was really a fantastic, magical night, full of dreams, hope, Love, interaction, good vibes. The 'Love is Green' event, which also took place that night, enhanced the mood and entertained even further. Great people in the crowd, great energies.

A visiting photographer (Agusto, Nic's friend) took professional photos of the Dream House. We had gone the night before to set up the lamp and he came along with me to do some shooting of it (minus the people who would be there next night at the launch). When I saw the images on his camera screen I was totally blown away. Such a difference between me taking the photos myself ... and what he did, which is pure artistry in itself, with specific lighting to enhance the beauty of the piece ... making it look to me like something displayed on a blue moon. All it was missing was white mist (a la fog machine) swirling around its base. Ethereal, dreamlike, mesmerising, compelling, otherworldly, a Light presence. As soon as those photos are ready, I will post them so that you can see the lamp (Dream House) which really ended up looking and feeling great - not only in A's photos, but in real life. At the moment that I unveiled it on the night (pulled off the large sheet that covered it) ... all I remember is hearing complete silence, then a gasp from the crowd, then clapping. Then everything began .. the first purpose, which was ongoing throughout the night (and will be even after) ... followed by the second purpose, later in the night (also to be ongoing).

As the invitation said: When dreams come true, lives change. Mine. Yours. Theirs.

Official photos, an account of what happened on the night and details of what it was all for coming soon. Stay tuned.

The date: 8th January 2001

Just a few days ago I realised that I had missed an important and life-changing date. The 8th of January 2008 marks 7 years since I miraculously woke up and stopped smoking and drinking alcohol and coffee. Never looked back and never got cravings. I believe it was yoga that did it.

Jan 8th 2005 is the day I started this blog ... partly out of curiosity and partly out of doing something to celebrate my miraculous anniversary. So I am now entering my 4th year of blogging!

Jan 8th 2005 on this blog.

Jan 8th 2007 - celebrating my anniversary of two things.

This week's Sunday Scribblings is "The Date"

Timely messages from the Labyrinth Angels

Went on a spontaneous jaunt with my friend Nisha to the Holy Trinity labyrinth yesterday. As we stood in the centre, we thought of Sally-in-Canada and decided to send some angelic messages for her ... and by extension, everyone who reads this.

This year contains limitless opportunities for happiness.
Be open to fully embracing, enjoying and experiencing those opportunities.
Fear not!
Keep looking up!
The sun is up
The stars are up
The moon is up
The clouds are up
The sky is up
We are up

We live in a gentle Universe.
All is well and as it should be.

At times ...

(St. Lucia log)

Yesterday I felt to go to the sea. The idea of it was cleansing in a way that nothing else could be. I felt for a quiet beach, but Rodney Bay, which is walking distance from where Mel lives, was crowded with a pack-load of tourists. We had a light lunch at Spinnakers, then walked along the beach and found a fairly quiet spot toward the end of the bay. The sea was gentle and warm and I went in alone. At times I just floated, surrendering to what is unimaginably larger than I am. At times I folded up like a foetus and was submerged and drifting in a massive womb. At times I tried handstands (which more ended up being flips) - and turned myself upside down like a salt shaker, emptying out. At times I just gently breast-stroked my way through the water. At times I went under the water and, as it supported me, I stretched myself out into whatever pose felt good ... Neptune yoga, maybe? At times I went under the water and spoke into it, knowing it was listening and understanding, even though I didn't really know what to say or how to put the essence into words. It, in itself, is beyond words. At times I just lay down or sat cross-legged in the shallow, allowing the gentle waves to shift me slightly. Then, when I felt to, I came out.

Do not ignore

Lately I have been ignoring my inner voice. This throws me off balance and can make me feel horrible and confused ... to know that something I felt/sensed was true and I did not pay attention to it.

Today after I woke up and meditated, I said a little prayer that I would increasingly be able to hear the guidance and that I will trust it again. I asked for a sign to let me know.

I was going walking for papers and decided to go for the longer walk around the University, which I have not done in a while. As I walked, a strident thought came out of nowhere: "I will find a puppy now."

As I neared the exact spot where I had found Rainbow earlier this year, a cute brown puppy wearing a blue collar appeared. It gamboled around the legs of a man who was strolling by, but he was ignoring it. I asked him if it was his and he said no. I asked two other people (a guard and a cleaner) nearby and they had no idea who it belonged to or where it had come from. I deduced that it must have been terrified by the recent spate of thunder and had fled from its home, as many dogs do.

The pup was frisking around so close to the cars on the mainroad ... and I didn't want to return from my walk and see it crushed. I told the cleaner I would take the pup home, take some photos of it, make flyers and stick them around ... and hopefully the owner would be see them and contact me.

The cleaner said: "Yes, do dat. Dat ent no pothong, yuh know! Dat is ah good breed!"

I told her that doesn't make a difference. Trinis feel that you should only put effort into saving or owning a dog if it is 'a breed'. Just like how people referred to Rainbow as 'only a street pigeon'. That doesn't make her less than a pigeon sold in pet shops. To make the point: can pigeons in petshops play the thumb piano and sing the way Rainbow did?

Anyway, I left the pup playing with the cleaner and the guard and continued on my walk, intending to pick it up on my way back. Upon my return, the pup was not there.

"Where is it?" I asked the cleaner.

"Me eh know. It was playing an' I turn my back an' it gone."

Another guard standing nearby said: "Dat was your dog?"

I told him it wasn't, but that I was going to take it home so it would be safe, make flyers, try and find the owner, etc.

He said: "Well a man came jes now and take it. It mus' be he own."

I walked off, thinking about how the puppy had 'appeared' and 'disappeared' ... and it suddenly occurred to me that the puppy was a sign. It was as if it had been put there ... not for me to rescue and take home ... but simply to remind me that when my inner voice speaks loudly, I can trust it.

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Working miracles

A friend of mine once said to me: "You will be the one who invents a way to make smells come out of TVs."

I remembered her words today as I walked down the road to get papers. At the corner there is a tree full of white flowers with fluffy yellow centres. Their powerful scent engulfs in a cloud and truly does justice to the word 'heavenly'. Today this perfume was so 'loud' that I found myself wishing that cameras could take smells as well, if only to share it. But ... like photographs, it would never be as good as the real thing.

And on that note ... my long-awaited is here and will be picked up later today! Together we may indeed make smells (and more) come out of images.

Giving and receiving flowers

A pane from the Soul Window
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Today on Kelly's blog she talks about meeting up a man who was giving out flowers to strangers. It reminded me of my days of doing the same.

When I was working in advertising, sometimes at lunch I would gather a few friends from the office (enough to fit into my car, 'Babe'). We would pick flowers and then drive around the Port-of-Spain area, stopping off in certain areas to give flowers to people. Similar to what Kelly mentioned in her post, many people looked rushed, stressed, angry and tired.

We found that strangers' reactions to being given flowers varied. Sometimes people would be suspicious or afraid of us, thinking we wanted something from them or were coming to rob them, maybe (?) "What do you want?"

Or they would simply say: "I don't want it and turn away" ... Perhaps, in their minds, we were attempting to sell them something or ask for money.

Some of them, their faces would light up and you could see that the flower had made their day. Some of them (if male) would take it as an opportunity to deliver a sexual innuendo or cliché pick-up line. Some, if female, would look uncomfortable, receiving a flower from another female ... perhaps because they only associate being-given-flowers with a man-woman interaction.

My favourite was an old man who was standing at the roadside with a briefcase. I got out of the car and gave him a flower. He graciously took it, quietly pleased, saying thank you. As we drove off and I looked in the rear view mirror, he was gazing at the flower. He then opened up his briefcase and carefully slipped it in.

I have these wire flowers that I make. They're like a trademark. So many people all over the place have ended up with them for a variety of reasons. Sometimes someone I don't even know or remember will say to me: "I still have that little wire flower/wire flowers you gave me" (e.g. sometimes I would hand them out at my exhibitions, give them as gifts, etc. or I would attach them to my CDs, so someone buying one would get that flower). I've realised that the people who received them feel special ... and end up keeping them not only because they like them, but because they remind them daily of their own specialness. Plus, being wire flowers, they never die.

Time to make some more.

It is time

... for many great things.