Goodbye St. Lucia, hello Venus

(St. Lucia log: final entry)
Today is my last day in St. Lucia after what was definitely a worth-it trip. I feel rested, relaxed and renewed. I am trying to maintain this feeling and not think ahead, as I am wont to do, about returning to Trinidad.

While in St. Lucia, the differences between TT and St. L were glaring to me in simple ways: the polite, gentle people who cheerfully say good day whether you said it first or not ... the clean beaches and roads ... the rainforests where I didn't see a single plastic bottle, snack pack, KFC box, condom, name carved into a tree, cigarette butt, diaper, etc. ... the smooth roads ... the absence of towering buildings and rampant concrete, metal and glass construction ... the beautifully refurbished old wooden buildings ... the cool day breezes and unscorching sun (!) ... the smiling faces ... the lack of confused, aggressive energy and anger ... no bumper-to-bumper gridlocks! ... the absence of tons of burglar proofing on every window ... the respectfulness of men in general (no ogling at women, psssst, 'dahlin', etc.) ... only seeing one man urinating in a bush bythe roadside within a six day period ... the courtesy of drivers ... the cheaper prices ... and so on.

Increasingly I do not know what 'returning to TT' means. I feel numb and dispassionate when I think of it and, in order to return, I need to reconfigure. The other day, returning from Soufriere, I told Mel that even though I was born in Trinidad I don't feel that I am from there. She agreed (feeling the same) and asked me where I felt I was from. I said I didn't know ...

Then yesterday, as we were walking along the road to go home, a 'strange' man (vagrant-like, but not quite) called out from the other side of the road: "Where are you from?!"

He crossed the road to me and asked pointedly: "Where are you from?"

I told him: "Venus."

With a serious face, he continued: "When are you going back?"

"Tomorrow," I said.

He shook my hand, nodded and walked off.

Flying into 2008

One of our guides zipping along the cable.
*

Coming in for a landing on one of the platforms
*

2008 started on a high note, literally. Early this morning we went zipping through and above the St. Lucian rainforest on lengths of cable, strapped into individual harnesses with helmets and heavy duty hooks to suspend us from the wires. This worthwhile adrenalin rush is the Rainforest Canopy Zip line Adventure. It involves a ride up into the rainforest in a cable car, then a ten minute walk into the heart of the forest (led by our guide, Kennedy) to our first take off point.

There were eleven lengths of cable for us to zip along - some higher above the ground and longer than others. Your dominant hand must grip the cable, while the non-dominant hand holds the harness in front of the body. You push off from the platform, let go and zip through the greenery to the next platform. And so on ... until all eleven platforms have been encountered. The whole experience is great, lasting about 3 - 4 hours.

I will use this exciting excursion as a metaphor for 2008:
Journeys deep into the heart of the forest = journeys deep into the heart of the self.
The towering trees and cables = new heights to be reached and enjoyed.
Letting go of the platform = leaping into the unknown and using wings.

A zippy exciting happy natural heightened trusting new year.

Peak experience on Pigeon Island

(St. Lucia log, cont'd ...)

Mother Nature knows what we need. On Saturday she gave us the rain because she thought it was best for us to stay indoors, eat snacks and be lazy and introspective. Yesterday she gave us brilliant sun and cool breezes to cure our cabin fever. We took a ride on a small boat (operated by a man called Dave) to Pigeon IslandI loved Pigeon Island. It's beautiful: dotted with old stone ruins of forts and dungeons, wild grasses, flowers, trees, a rough craggy coastline on one side, gentle lapping waters on the other, winding pathways leading to lofty peaks. The photo shows the view from one of the peaks on the island. Everywhere you look in St. Lucia there is a peak.

Ditto (view from peak). One of the more touristy shots you would ever get from me.
At the top of one of the peaks there was a small dungeon-like ruin. I took the steep wooden steps and went down into it. This image reminds me: The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. (Winston Churchill)

My friend Mel peers down into the dungeon: "Spec, where are you?"

"Here I am."
After descending from the peak, we ate lunch (tuna sandwiches, egg & cheese sandwiches, chocolate ice-cream), lounged/dozed under some trees while our food digested, went into the sea ... and by then it was time to go to the jetty to wait for Dave to pick us up (4:00 p.m. St. Lucia time, not Trini time).

Waiting for Dave on the jetty (I)

Waiting for Dave on the jetty (II)

Waiting for Dave on the jetty (III)

Waiting for Dave on the jetty (IV)

Waiting for Dave on the jetty (V)

Here comes the rain again ...

(St. Lucia log cont'd ...)A St. Lucian puddle

*

Most people would be upset if they came all the way to beachy St. Lucia and it kept raining. It basically rained all day yesterday (my third day here) and it rains every night and early in the morning, with strong winds. I don't mind. In fact I love it. The rain is cool, soothing and inspires hibernation, which I must need, judging from how good it feels to be doing absolutely nothing (... except for reading, sleeping, talking with Mel, snacking, eating, writing, thinking, unwinding, watching movies or just being still and processing myself and life as another year winds to a close). It feels great to be completely unhurried, to have no plans and to not care whether we do anything or not for the day.

The day floats by
In wind
And falls to night
In rain

One thing we say we must do, though, is the Rain Forest Canopy Zip Line Adventure: over the heart of the rain forest, "zipping along 500 ft lengths of cable at heights ranging from 30 ft to 50 ft". That height may not seem like much, but as Mel and I both have a 'fear' of heights, it is an ideal way for us to embrace it.

... And what is 'fear' anyway? Here is one of what-must-be-millions-of definitions, which I find simple and insightful: Fear is always a sign of strain, arising when what you want conflicts with what you do. (A Course in Miracles, p. 29).

At times ...

(St. Lucia log)

Yesterday I felt to go to the sea. The idea of it was cleansing in a way that nothing else could be. I felt for a quiet beach, but Rodney Bay, which is walking distance from where Mel lives, was crowded with a pack-load of tourists. We had a light lunch at Spinnakers, then walked along the beach and found a fairly quiet spot toward the end of the bay. The sea was gentle and warm and I went in alone. At times I just floated, surrendering to what is unimaginably larger than I am. At times I folded up like a foetus and was submerged and drifting in a massive womb. At times I tried handstands (which more ended up being flips) - and turned myself upside down like a salt shaker, emptying out. At times I just gently breast-stroked my way through the water. At times I went under the water and, as it supported me, I stretched myself out into whatever pose felt good ... Neptune yoga, maybe? At times I went under the water and spoke into it, knowing it was listening and understanding, even though I didn't really know what to say or how to put the essence into words. It, in itself, is beyond words. At times I just lay down or sat cross-legged in the shallow, allowing the gentle waves to shift me slightly. Then, when I felt to, I came out.

Gush

(St. Lucia log)Oil spill seen this afternoon on walk back from beach and grocery.

*
Rushing heart,
Gushing heart:
you spilled
your spell
and fell

Immaculate

(St. Lucia log cont'd ...)

Stained glass in the Cathedral.
*

Yesterday after a deep and reflective lunch in Castries, we went and sat in the cool darkness of the massive Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception. It felt like being in the belly of what I imagine Noah's ark would look like if it was upside down. The intricate artwork on the high, arched wooden ceilings is amazing. How do they clean it and care for it at such a height? This question baffled me and Mel for a while as we sat on a front pew chatting and gazing around us.

I only took photos of the stained glass windows though.

I'm here ...

(St. Lucia Log)

A friend dropped me to the airport (Piarco, Trinidad) at 4:00 a.m. My flight was at 6:00. When I checked in, the woman at the desk gave me a food voucher for $35TT and told me that my flight was delayed for three hours.

"You will have to board at 7:30," she told me.

LIAT is giving trouble these days with strikes, etc., apparently ... but I wouldn't know since I no longer read papers or watch news.

A while later, I took out my food voucher to show it to Paula, the friend who had dropped me to the airport, and noticed that the flight number on the voucher was not the same as that on my ticket. I went to query it ... and good thing!

"Ooops," the woman said. "That's not your flight?!"

"Am I delayed?" I asked her.

"No, you can board at 5:00."

Turns out she mistakenly thought I was on the flight number she had written on the voucher. Had I not noticed the error and queried it, I would have waited until 7:30 to board and would have missed my flight.

I was so glad to touch down in St. Lucia a few hours later (connect at Barbados and connecting flight delayed about an hour). It is such a gentle place and the heat and stirred energies of Trinidad feels distant. My friend Mel's new apartment is fantastic - colourful, funky, peaceful and breezy. As I arrived and dropped my suitcase in my room, we sat and chatted for a good while, catching up on all that needed catching up on. It will definitely be a great visit.