Last night (until early this morning just before waking) I had a long dream which makes me think of something George Orwell
could have written.
I remember it vividly, as if it actually happened to me. Maybe it did.
I was in an extremely large warehouse type of building. It was full of women of every imaginable type: nationalities, race, size, age ... you name it, a woman was there representing her. I was "a new one" and was the only one wearing normal clothing (I had on blue jeans and a black top). The other women wore dark green tent-like poncho-like pullovers with white fringes and ties, like what you would see someone wearing in a hospital - only this was not a hospital. I still don't know what it was.
The women were all sitting or standing around in groups, talking with each other and observing me as I was led through the space by the dark, squat female 'guard' (if she can be called that, because it wasn't a prison either) into whose care I had been placed.
My guard/caretaker was kind, which I found out as the dream progressed. Her kindness was not obvious by just looking at her because she never smiled. I think she was Trini, as she had that way of walking slowly with an expressionless look on her face, reminiscent of a reluctant store attendant who would rather be chatting on her cellular phone than attending to the customer. She led me to the centre of the large space and placed me above a small round drainage grill in the floor. These drainage grills were all over the floor of the 'warehouse'. When she told me to take off my clothes and get ready for 'the shower' I realised that this was why the women were all wearing the kind of hospital robes. They had all already been through the showers.
At first I was hesitant, not knowing why I was there and feeling strange about stripping and being bathed by someone else in a room full of women staring at me. My caretaker told me to relax: that everyone had done it and when I take off my clothes it will be "what everyone else has".
I decided to go with the moment and took off all my clothes. The other woman who was with my caretaker took my clothing and disappeared. It didn't feel strange standing there fully exposed to everyone and it was not threatening. The thousands of women around the warehouse continued chatting with each other ... although I noted I was hearing nothing - no murmur of voices. Their chatting was completely silent. The room was silent. Some of these women were looking at me, but not in an ogling or 'macocious' way. Their eyes just naturally rested on me and then went back to their companions. I felt that it was natural to be in this state.
There was one woman who stood out. She was tall and white (the transparent kind of white like a gekko, where you can see the blue veins under the skin) with short, 'zogged' brown hair. At one point the dream skipped and I was walking behind her down a long corridor. There was a moment where she slowed down so that I was walking next to her and, without saying a word or even looking at me, she told me something important ... then quickened her step and walked ahead back into the room with 'the showers' where everyone was.
The dream skipped back to me being bathed by my caretaker. (N.B. Even though I was being 'bathed' by her she was not actually bathing me and I was not physically bathing myself either. Not sure how it was happening, but I was 'being bathed'). She was more like someone just watching over me, 'in charge' of me, attending to me.
Suddenly we were no longer in the warehouse, but out in the open air, on some sunny green grass, away from everyone. As I (was being) bathed, she lowered her voice and said to me: "If you are looking aware and conscious, some may try to stop you. That's why I walk around looking vacant so they don't know
." It was the first time anyone used audible words in the whole dream. Only then did I realise that all other talking had been in complete silence.
In a cryptic way I felt that she was telling me that she meditates, so I asked her: "You meditate?"
She said: "Yes. It only looks like we're just cleaning the outside ... but it's the inside."
I understood that the washing in the showers was not a physical, external thing. It was internal. Maybe it was a way of enlightening all of the women in a way that was not obvious to others ... and maybe that's why the women could have spoken with each other without having to use audible words ... and why the tall transparent woman could have told me whatever she did - without using words or looking at me. We were communicating on other levels. And standing naked in front of all of the women was not about 'being naked' because it was not about the body. Perhaps in taking off my clothes, only my spirit was left standing there in the room full of women.
My caretaker took me back inside and gave me two injections. Like everything else, nothing was explained, but I trusted her and trusted the process. One injection was to my upper right arm, the other was in the region of the skin of my upper left back just above the shoulder blade. This felt necessary in the grand scheme of things.
Labels: dreams, spirituality